Cal's Guide to Asian Cities

This guide is very me. I've spent quite some time traveling around Asia, mostly to cities, and here is a wayward collection of experiences and opinions dressed up into a guide. All travel tips, pictures, puns, and snarky comments are mine. If you don't like me, you won't like this.

Bangkok

Minimum Time: 2 days

Linguistic Notes: Bangkok isn't the official name for the city. The official name comes from Pali and Sanskrit root words, ancient languages of northern India which were the scripture languages for Buddhism, similar to ancient Hebrew and Aramaic for Christianity.

Do: Bangkok has a lot going for it. There is a reason the city has often been the most visited city in the world. The Grand Palace is golden and grand as are so many temples. There are happening markets, riverboat tours, and so many malls. The food options are tremendous, with street-side vendors selling skewers and orange Thai Iced teas and many different regional Thai cuisines packing their own spices. Then the sun disappears and trucks open up Transformer-style into parked bars, night markets emerge, tourists and locals alike rage underneath expressways and interesting night shows shall we say take place. Bangkok is similar this way to Amsterdam and New Orleans - there's plenty to do culturally, but that's not why you're really there. 2 days is enough to scratch the surface, but especially when factoring hangover time, 3 or 4 is recommended.

Pun Factor: 10. While not unanimous, Bangkok is at least a Thai for punniest city in Asia. There's a reason schoolchildren ask "What's the capital of Thailand?" before punching you in the balls. "Let's go to the temple." "Wat Pho?" There's also a MRT station called Nana, which even locals find funny.

Beijing

Minimum Time: 4 days

NLGX

Linguistic Footnote: Beijing (北京) means Northern Capital. There is also a Southern Capital (Nanjing - 南京) and an Eastern Capital (Tokyo － 东京). 

Do: China has 5,000 years of history and a lot of it took place in Beijing. Large restored sections of The Great Wall are an hour away and are required for Chinese to "become real Chinese." The Forbidden City and Summer Palace preserve some parts of the last dynasty, and Tiananmen Square will invoke more recent Chinese history. There's the Drum Tower and other sections of the former city wall, numerous temples, other former imperial courtyards and gardens, upscale shopping, hidden Hutongs, crazy nightlife, Peking duck, the huge Summer palace, the 798 art district, Beihai park, Nanluoguxiang street, the CCTV tower, the Bird's Nest, the Olympic Sites and some of the world's worst air. The city as a whole is a great collection of tough people from all over China who have been through a lot.  Due to the spread of the city, you really need 4 days to do it properly.

Pun Factor: 4. I heart BJ, as well as heart getting Tanked in Tiananmen (original name of this blog).

Guangzhou

Minimum Time: 1.5 days

Linguistic Notes: Guangzhou has historically been known to the Western world as Canton. When the Portuguese arrived in the 1500s, there really wasn't a name for this city, but the province name was/is Guangdong. The Portuguese somehow transformed this into Canton. Oh don't worry, we will delve more into Portuguese trans-phonetics in this blog post.

Guang-tham City?

Do: Guangzhou is a historic center of trade, trading with the Arab world as early as the 9th century. There's some history to be found, like the former colonial enclaves and the church on Shamian Island, some old school Cantonese architecture and a museum dedicated to the father of modern China, Sun Yat-Sen from nearby. But despite the long history and its reputation as the birthplace of Cantonese culture, Guangzhou really disappointed me in the cultural category. It's modernized into any other Chinese metropolis. It sprawls into other cities with far too many people, and with road names like Jie Fang South Road divided by the same plastic white gates, Guangzhou typically feels like any other city in China. On the plus side, there are some cool modern residential buildings in Zhujiang New Town, and some cool teahouses and a very solid nightlife scene. The city is so big that if you actually do want to see the sights, it'll take a while, but the sights aren't all that special.

Pun Factor: 1. I cant(on) even.

Hong Kong

Minimum time: 2 days

Linguistic Notes: Hong and Kong do not actually rhyme in Cantonese.

Do: I originally came up with the concept of "minimum time" to help tourists plan their trip to Hong Kong. Despite the often overwhelming density, Hong Kong (Skyscraper City) is arguably a better place to live than to visit. The main attraction is that skyline, as seen from the the Peak (take the tram up for old timeyness, or a taxi up waiting behind 100 people for a 100 year old ride isn't your thing), the Star Ferry, the ICC Sky bar, the Avenue of Stars, or one of hundreds of great spots weaved into the mountainside. First timers to Asia generally enjoy the Big Buddha statue out in Lantau, which is larger taller in meters (34) than it is old in years (21). There's street stall shopping in Mong Kok and Temple Street, colonial history in Tsim Sha Tsui and Sheung Wan, aggressive hooker bars in Wan Chai, a crowded materialistic public area creatively named Times Square, and the world's heaviest concentration of debauchery upon a steep gradient in Lan Kwai Fong (LKF). Because of the city's great transportation system, that can all be done in 2 days and still leave you time to spend way too much money on a purse. If you want off the beaten path, there's the park/outdoor museum in the former Kowloon Walled City, incredible hiking trails all over the territory, easily accessible beaches, charming streets in Sham Shui Po, an old tram that locals call the Ding Ding, the Asia Society's intricate connection to the mountainside, and so much great food that you might get too full to do any of these things. The connected elevated walkways in Central are also attractive to those who like urban design, while fans of skyscraper architecture could consider this their Mecca. My five favorite buildings here: 1) Bank of China 2) HSBC Building 3) K11 4) The Centre Building 5) Carnegie's.

Pun Factor: 5. Haters like to call this place Hong Wrong, fans like to call it King Kong, but I'm not sure how long you can keep these puns strong. I was proven wrong though, by this: http://mashable.com/2015/01/13/hong-kong-metro-puns/ . I would like to say I wish I came up with those, but I really don't. 

Kuala Lumpur

Minimum Time: 2 days

Linguistic Notes: Its name means "muddy estuary" but read my previous post for way more linguistic background on Malaysian Chinese than you'll ever want to know.

Do: Kuala Lumpur only developed as a major city out of a tin mine in the late 1800s.  The only must-see in KL are the Petronas Towers which splendidly stand out in a skyline that gives it very little competition. The Batu caves are slightly outside the city, still accessible by metro, and are very cool for the large statue 43m statue of Hindu deity Lord Murugan and the awe inspiring (and bat-filled) caves up the mountain. Chinatown is cool if you don't live in a Chinese city, Merdeka Square is nice but empty, several of the Mosques are notable, and there are some fairly epic malls (Pavilion, Suria KLCC) because no Asian city would be complete without those, and a surprisingly strong nightlife scene in the Golden Triangle, especially for a Muslim country.  The food though is the main draw, and I cannot underemphasize how good and varied the cuisine in KL is, from Nasi Lemak to South Indian roti to Bakuteh. Malaysia's tourism slogan is "Malaysia, Truly Asia" which I find pretty fitting (and better than the alternative: Malaysia, the Airplane Mystery State). The city is not only incredibly diverse with so many Asian ethnicities and languages visibly represented, but it also exhibits many of the forces facing Asian cities today, including modernization eroding tradition, religious tension, traffic problems and solutions, pollution and the smell of durian. Whatever your preconceptions of Asia are, you will probably find them in Kuala Lumpur. 

Pun Factor: 2. It seems like you got something to work with here, but I got nothing of kuala-ty. I just got a ton of bad ideas all lumpur-ed together. 

Macau:

Minimum Time: 4 hours

Linguistic Notes: Macau sounds nothing like the Chinese name for this city (Cantonese: Ou Mun. Mandarin: Ào Mén). It is possibly named after an A Ma Temple that used to be there (A Ma Gok), but my theory is that the Portuguese were just terrible at transliterating names. I mean, they thought that Canton sounded like Guangdong. Also the current Portuguese spelling of Macau replaces Macao which is confusingly still used, even in official capacities.

Do: Count the number of face cards and non-face cards, and when the non-face cards outnumber the face cards by 10, start betting big. There's the Venetian, the Sands, the MGM Grand and the Casino Lisboa, none of which will kick you out for staring and all of which will let you slobber their free milk teas. Other than the the casinos, there are some cute European streets, a large historical Chinese house called the Mandarin House, the House of Dancing Water Show, the lovely Portuguese seaside restaurant Fernando's and the remaining wall of the St. Paul's Cathedral. Truth be told, Macau has had a rich and interesting cultural history, similar to Hong Kong, as an independent polity next to a turbulent mainland China. It was one of the earliest European colonies in Asia, and the most recently returned. However, unlike Hong Kong, Macau has ceased to develop it's own industry and has instead sold out to a comfortable quality of life financed entirely by mainland gamblers' losses. All that is left of the heart and soul of Macau is a burnt-out facade, which is physically manifested in the St. Paul's Cathedral.

Pun factor: 3. When introducing a local specialty item to Macau, what lazy name can McDonald's executives come up with? The Macau McCow.  

Manila 

Minimum Time: 1 day

Linguistic Notes: Most Americans just assume that people speak Spanish in the Philippines because so many Filipinos use Spanish names. But nowadays, nobody speaks Spanish

Do: Manilans will quickly tell you that next to Warsaw, Manila was the city second most devastated by World War II. This is used to explain why there isn't a whole lot of special visible history. There is a lot of Spanish influence in the background, in the old stone architecture and horse-drawn carriages, and a lot of American influence in the foreground, in the road signs and Krispy Kreme stores. There are aspects of Manila that fit into any leading global city, from the Mall of Asia to the clubs of Makati to the Fully Booked bookstore in Alabang. There also lots of leaky slums and crammed jeepney rides that show the poverty still rampant throughout the country. Rizal Park is worth checking out, as well as St Augustin Cathedral, Intramuros and Chinatown. See some of the sites, get to know some Filipinos and see why they're awesome and then leave the city to learn more about the country if that's what you want.

Pun Factor: 6. What do offices in Manila use? Manila folders. What do you call a white rapper from here? Manila Ice. Maybe it's true what they say: It's more pun in the Pilippines.

Mumbai

Minimum time: 2 days

Linguistic Notes: This city was called Bombay for many years before a 1990s belated decolonization name change, and is still referred to as such by many longtime residents, in a similar manner to how Aussies might call Uluru as Ayer's Rock. Bombay might come from the Portuguese words for "good bay", which seems kinda lame, or it might come from a brutal mishearing of the local Marathi word Mumbai. As we have established, the Portuguese are terrible with foreign languages. The city has historically been referred to "as Mumbai or Mambai in Marathi, Konkani, Gujarati, Kannada and Sindhi, and as Bambai in Hindi, Persian and Urdu." 

Do: One's experience in Mumbai/Bombay will likely depend on one's familiarity with India. Out of context, Mumbai can be a very overwhelming city, a dense dizzying array of people, colors, aromas and sporadic Bollywood dance numbers. The main sights include the city harbour with the Gateway to India arch, the adjacent Taj Mahal hotel, and the Chhatrapati Shivaji Terminus (call it VT). Other reasons to visit Mumbai include the beaches, the temples (Hindu, Jain, Sikh and Parsi are well-represented), the food and the museums. And the food is really, really good. If you can arrange it, a tour through the slums will provide a glimpse into the reality of over half the city's population. On the flip side, if you want to throw up, you could try to get a glimpse into the life of the 0.1% and see Antilia, the world's first $1 billion home.  Like several other cities in this list though, Mumbai is a younger city with far more to offer businessmen than it does tourists. 

Pun Factor: 5. The city was formerly the Bomb, but now is kinda mum. 

Osaka

Minimum Time: 2.5 days

Linguistic Notes: People from Osaka have a distinctive accent in Japanese 

Semi-enclosed shopping way struck by lightning

Do: Osaka is the second biggest of Japan's metropolises and one if its former capitals, but suffered a lot of damage in World War II. The main site, Osaka Castle, is a "ferroconcrete reconstruction" and while an informative museum and nice view, does not take you back to the days of samurais and ninjas. Dotonburi with the famous running man billboard is very bright and sensory overloading, and the same can be said of the neighborhood of Namba, which launched a popular band of rotating female dancers/singers called NMB 48. Shitenno-ji Temple is worth visiting if you haven't seen too many Japanese temples, and a baseball game is definitely a good experience for those familiar with the sport. There is also a giant outdoor climbing wall in the shape of a bowling ball that hangs over a street. Osaka is a good introduction to Japan, known as a great city to eat and drink, from high end sushi to fried innards underneath a railway bridge. Walk along the beautiful canals, the covered shopping alleyways, eat the fried food and then take a train to Kyoto, Kobe or Nara.

Pun Factor: 2. O for Pete's Sake don't try.

Seoul

Minimum Time: 3 days

Linguistic Notes: Most places in Seoul and Korea have corresponding Hanja Chinese characters due

to the historical Chinese brought written language. Seoul did not and recently decided on a phonetic transcription of 首爾. However the Chinese name had been 漢城 meaning city on the Han River or Han City, which is kinda confusing because Han is also the name for the Chinese people.

Do: Seoul is a loaded functional city. It's divided by a river and develops into the mountainside, with old and labyrinthine neighborhoods in between.  For tourist sites, the regal palace is a B version of the Forbidden City, but all told the Five Grand Palaces in Seoul are great examples of classic Korean architecture. Seoul City Hall and Dongdaemun Design Plaza among the many curved compelling pieces of modern architecture in the city. Seoul has a ton of museums, notably the National Museum of Art, the National Folk Museum and the Samsung founder's personal project Leeum Museum. Seoul boasts shrines that the UN has deemed worthwhile, an Olympic park, the Banpo Rainbow Bridge (which both crosses water and spurts out water) and the most wired city in the world (wifi everywhere). There are so many great food options, including street side tents and even food without kimchee. The drink option are impressive as well, whether you want to cheers with English teachers in Hongdae or Itaewon, get drunk under the table by Soju-hardened Koreans in Sinchon, or go upscale and pay homage to Psy in Gangnam. You could do Seoul in 2 days (if you don't spend too much time hungover) because there aren't exactly must-dos in this city, but you certainly won't get bored with a 3rd day.

Pun Factor: 10. Whether you arrive via the Seoul plane or Seoul train or by the Seouls of your shoes, hope you make some Seoul mates and leave a Seoul survivor. But due to the existence of Bangkok, Seoul is not the sole leader of Asian puns.

Shanghai

Minimum Time: 1.5 days

Linguistic Notes: The Wu dialect that emerged from the surrounding area is the descendant of the Chinese language that most influenced Japanese Kanji. The pronunciations of these characters have all evolved, but they still sound closest when comparing Shanghainese with the Japanese.

Do: The touristy aspects of Shanghai are essentially contained within one panoramic shot from the Bund and a walk underground in the most touristy tunnel imagineable to the other side of the Huangpu and the Oriental Pearl Tower. There's Xintiandi, a rare example of a redevelopment of a traditional Chinese neighborhood into an upscale commercial pedestrian zone that does not make you vomit. Actually, I don't really know much about Shanghai because even though my dad lives there and I've been there over a half dozen times, he takes me to the same places every time.  If you want to take the James Lee tour of Shanghai, then get some spicy crayfish in the wee hours, jog around tourists to the Bund, dine at the TMSK restaurant for their fusion band, visit the exquisite wooden furniture by an acclaimed artist/architect at a store/exhibition called 半木, and go to that one Japanese restaurant where you have to duck your head to enter. Apparently there's the Zhujiajiao Water Town far to the southwest of the city; but if you're gonna go that far, you might as well go to Hangzhou. Other than that, go to Shanghai and enjoy the First World offerings. That might mean tasting a Coldstone Creamery in a mall, drinking martinis in a 70th storey hotel bar, gawking at the bottle opener building or the even taller Shanghai Tower, regurgitating lots of East meets West cliches, or stuffing your face full of Xiaolongbao.

Pun Factor: 4. In this city, the proof of the pun is in the Pudong. It helps that Shanghai has become a verb in English, and that if you fly from Shanghai to Mumbai (analogous cities), you are literally going from Hai to Bai.

Shenzhen

Minimum Time: 1 day

Linguistic Notes: I got nothing here.

Can't we all just Paidui?

Do: If you want to know how different Chinese are from Westerners, all you have to know is that Shenzhen is a major tourist destination within China. Lots of Westerners living in Hong Kong would be shocked from this, because their experience of Shenzhen is usually something like the scene on the right, a mad scramble across the border to a much less polite city. In actuality, Shenzhen is one of the most developed and most Western cities in China, with a mind boggling skyrocketing pace of development. Chinese people enjoy seeing the fake Eiffel Tower in Windows of the World and the amusement park / European replica OCT East. More compelling to me is the 大芬油画村, a zone out in Longgang where artists are trained to copy classic works of art like the Mona Lisa. I've not been yet, but the place seems very cool and emblematic of the foundation of China's modern economy - copycatting. Shenzhen is no longer so economically tied to Hong Kong. Companies all over the world are flying in directly to do business with the factories, and the city is home to a burgeoning tech startup scene. Still, as a city barely 30 years old, there's plenty of ammunition to disparage the lack of cultural anything in Shenzhen, and I will stick to using a picture of Futian the one time it took me an hour and a half to cross back into Hong Kong.

Pun Factor: 0. Literally I got nothing here.

Singapore

Minimum Time: 2 days

Linguistic Notes: Singapore comes from the Malay word Singapura, itself from a Sanskrit word meaning Lion City. The Chinese name I knew growing up was 星加坡, which sounds like Singapore in Cantonese, but with the full on adoption of Mandarin, simplified characters and pinyin, the official name is now 新加坡, which sounds more better in Mandarin.

Pictures in Singapore look like architects' renderings

Do: The world's only shopping mall with an immigration counter has a million ways to make you forget about the poverty in surrounding nations. It's a great place to visit if you hate dirt and chewing gum, if you like toast and Milo, if you want to call your taxi driver "Uncle", or if you want to eat at a hawker centre but are too much of a hypochondriac to try in Malaysia. To Westerners, we call it Asia Lite, where the city collectively speaks dozens of language but really just uses English. Get a picture spitting with the Merlion, pay your way up to the top of Marina Bay Sands and marvel at the infinity pool, and go window shopping in Orchard Row. If you want a manufactured good time, venture out to Sentosa beach or Universal Studios or the Night Safari. But really just eat eat eat and keep eating, whether it's Malay food, Indian food, Chinese food, chili crab or western food. In truth, people like to give Singapore a hard time for its perceived sterility - in Singapore, once you've seen one, you've seen the mall. CNN even published a travel article "Top 10 Most Boring Things to do in Singapore." But we mock because Singapore is so functional and well thought-out, there are few outbursts of the organic craziness that expats grow to expect and love in Asia. People in China will see a collision of a truck carrying eggs with a moped on a pedestrian sidewalk and mutter to themselves "only in China" whereas people in Singapore will see ordinary citizens neatly line up for the opening of a new restaurant in the airport and mutter to themselves "only in Singapore." But deep down there's a lot to admire in a society that has lifted itself from poverty to the economic elite, dramatically raised health standards and lowered crime in its short 50 year history.

Pun Factor: 4. I mean, Singapore is a fine city. Was it ever a sunken colony? No it was a S'pore colony #starcraftjoke.

Taipei

Minimum Time: 2 days

Linguistic Notes: Few countries have had as large scale a linguistic transformation as Taiwan, with the main spoken language of Taiwanese replaced by Mandarin within 2 generations. Taiwanese is still alive and well but there are many native Taiwanese, particularly those raised in Taipei, who are well short of fluent in it.

Do: Taipei is an easy and common weekend destination for Hong Kongers. Mainland tourists now have direct flights and get to enjoy speaking their native language while handling currency that doesn't have the same picture on it. Taipei 101 sticks out in what is really a short city, and much of the charm of Taipei is ground level. The night markets make this city famous, where the smells of stinky tofu are partially diluted by those of steamed balls and teppenyaki. The National Palace Museum is priceless, consisting of many of the most valuable works of art from the Forbidden City that were carefully taken away before the Japanese invasion and moved to Taipei during the Chinese Civil War.  I don't usually spend much of precious travel time in a museum, but this one is worth a good chunk of hours. Then go to Chiang Kai-Shek Memorial Hall, because it's there, and Sun Yat-sen Memorial Hall, if you want more memories. Taipei is a good city to hike, with Elephant Mountain convenient and providing great views of Taipei 101, I mean the city skyline. If hot springs are your thing, there are several not far from the city. Besides these attractions though, Taipei is a great walkable city with lots of coffeeshops, cute alleys and bubble tea.

Pun Factor: 6. Just depends if you're a Taipei personality, or a Type B personality.

Yangon

Minimum Time: 1.5 days

Linguistic Notes: Yangon literally means something like "no more enemies" in Burmese and is translated as the End of Strife. The name of the first village to be at this site was called Dagon, which is still reflected in place names, including the city's famous icon Schwedagon Pagoda (Great Dagon).

View within Kandawgyi Park

Do: The Schwedagon Pagoda alone is enough to visit the city formerly known as Rangoon. The golden splendor of the most important Buddhist site in the land is among the more spectacular sites I've ever seen, and the city's streets are laid out to keep it getting seen. There's a lot of colonial history in the city, with more colonial-era buildings than any other city in Asia, but much of this is because the buildings are crumbling and the city has been too poor to rebuild them. Still, Yangon is a bustling diverse market town with Bogyoke market in particular trading some interesting spices, fabrics and jewelry. The jade market especially has exploded in Burma, due to demand from China, but I wish I knew about its devastating social consequences before I bought my amulet. In contrast to the daytime activity, the city goes all but silent after 9pm. Sule Pagoda is noteworthy on its own but pales in comparison to Schwedagon. The other main religious site, Botataung Paya is important historically, claiming to house strands of Buddha's hair, but was bombed in WWII and will not impress on travelers who have seen a stupid number of stupas. The city has a great park around Kandawgyi Lake which has a tourist-only fee that is still worth paying. Aung San Suu Kyi's house is reachable, but is no longer a site of demonstrations. My taxi driver literally stopped on his own and pointed out the house. Yangon's colonial history seems so removed from its modern construction, reflected its buried dead - the grave of the last Emperor of the Mughal Empire is here, as is a Jewish cemetery. And amazingly, the city is small enough that I was basically able to do everything on this list in 2 days and still check out the nightlife, which is so many levels below every other city on this list. Food-wise, I've documented how bizarrely bland Myanmar food is despite its culinary neighbors, but Shan noodles are worth a bowl.

Pun Factor: 3. How do you ask a Chinese person in Myanmar if he/she is cold? Brrrr 吗？


Of course, there are many cities in Asia I have not been to that are very worth visiting. The ones with the deadliest Pun Factors include Hanoi (puns can get Hanoi-ing very quickly), Penang (Punang), Delhi (cold cuts), Phnom Penh (Phnomenal), and of course, Phuket. While crafting this post, I was reminded how great Asia is. There are old cities, there are new cities, and there are interesting places that aren't cities. I was also reminded how I haven't written a travel recap post like this since: http://cal337.blogspot.hk/2009/01/recap-overratedunderrated.html. Anyway if you haven't visited Asia, come check it out. If I left anything out or really missed out on some city attractions, leave a comment below.

3 Tournaments, 4 Weekends

Turn Up Taipei, Hong Kong Pun Asia and the Wuhan Open all occurred within 4 weeks of each other. I wasn't completely aware of this when I signed up for them, and I'm not sure I'd ever had such a packed tournament stretch before, not even in college. My experience with each tournament was extremely different and I mostly want to talk about Wuhan, but here's a quick recap of all three.

Turn Up Taipei: 

Taipei is the city everyone from Hong Kong professes to love. It's the smells of late night Chinese cooking but with people lining up. It's got the elbow room that has been squeezed out of Hong Kong with the culture that has been priced out of Singapore. It's a high speed rail bubble tea brewing metropolis with museums and Facebook access. It's a repository for traditional characters with a quaint Japanese respectful veil still faintly in the air. As I say this though, I am acutely aware of how much more I like the idea of Taipei than I actually like Taipei. I've spent all of 4 nights there. I know enough about Taipei to know its subway traffic can be unbearable too, that it's a city with rude people, incompetent government and factories trying to peddle gutter oil. 

But I do know that Taiwan Ultimate has some splendor with good players popping up among local university scenes in Taipei and southern Taiwan. Grouped with a core of talented and dedicated expats, Taipei's best club team Whisby Nation has found great success in Asia. They don't travel a ton though, and Taiwan had never hosted a club tournament like this aimed at international teams before (2011 AOUC in Kaohsiung notwithstanding), so there was very much an inaugural feel to the event.

The tournament turned out great for us. First, the combination of me, Blaze & Junk, was able to bring over 550 quick dry towels Katherine Tse, the tournament director, shipped to my apartment because the 200% import tariff was absurd. Distributing it to HK tournament attendees including Julia and Charlotte, who took 300 by themselves, the towels arrived on Saturday morning and we got some good karma from the onset. We knew it would be a competitive tourney with teams coming from Shanghai, Singapore, all over Taiwan, and a rare appearance from Japan. Guam even sent a squad, ironically without the one high level player who lives there.  Add three Abu Dhabi players and this first time event had some serious international draw.

We had a good tournament. Seeded second in our pool, we upset a undermanned Shanghai and held off upstart teams Guangzhou and Taiwan HaoCool and won our crossover. With an undefeated Saturday, we came into Sunday's semifinal matchup with Iku from Japan without having been seriously tested. Japanese ultimate is the best in Asia and my previous experiences against with the entity was a pair of 17-2 blowouts at the 2011 AOUC and the 2012 Worlds tournament. Iku was an expat team, and only the 3rd best mixed club team in Japan, but they finished top 12 or something in Lecco this year. I was really quite anxious about matching up against a lot of players I had only known from their vaunted reputations.  But Junk is a talented club team that trains together too, and with our strict regimented style of play and some big handlers able to put backhands upwind, we were a force to be reckoned with. The wind was extremely fierce that game, and we were strict about punting downwind whenever near the end zone. Iku was less strict and a couple of costly turns near their end zone gave us an upwind break. Down that break, Iku was on offense going upwind - scoring would put the pressure on us to go upwind to hold the break. We set a hard zone and got the turn but lost the disc quickly. In the confusion-laden aftermath of a turn, we scrambled to set up a cup and Iku took advantage. I saw a handler swing and break throw to a girl in the making, and without making a real decision, my body just started going for the disc and before I knew it I was in full extension laying out off the ground. I was never amazing at layout D's, and in the past year they've become increasingly rare, but this was one of my best. I barely got fingertips on my disc, and was so fully extended that I couldn't bring my arm back and landed fully on my shoulder. In incredible pain, I looked back meekly in terror to see a disc that I had only just barely macked. Luckily, the mack was enough to take the disc out of bounds, and the Iku girl was not able to drag it in. I immediately took an injury sub as I was unable to raise my shoulder, and my replacement helped us make the downwind convert. We won the game by 4 points and met Whisby Nation in the final.

Playing in the finals is a lot of fun. It's great having the whole tournament audience watch you, with heckling commentary coming from at least one outspoken member of our community. The pressure is definitely there, and I'm at the stage of my career where this experience is invaluable. Playing without pressure is almost completely unrelated to playing in the finals, where you don't want to throw that one costly turnover that swings the championship. Developing the right mindset where you aren't playing scared of that turnover but rather playing up to your own game is essential, and something I think is almost impossible to train. The pressure didn't really come up to me too much, as I played exclusively downwind that game where we could afford to throw turnover hucks, but it might have affected our teammates as we made several uncharacteristic turnovers at the edge of upwind scores. Whisby was a great team, with lots of fit fast players and an extremely disciplined and skilled handler core. Without the wind, I think we might have been blown out, as we were considerably slower and less in shape. With the wind, we made some upwind conversions and had a great chance to win. A slow turnover filled game ended up hardcapped 13-11 in Whisby Nation's favor, and we were left with the contrasting taste of a proud seed-breaking second place finish, but disappointing heartbreak over a legit chance to win our first major tournament.

Katherine (black shirt, center) having her birthday celebrated

Hong Kong Pun Asia

So I'm Communication Director of the Hong Kong Ultimate Player Association now, and during our board meeting in July, I mentioned that we need a theme for our annual Hong Kong Pan Asia Tournament. Gio, the tournament director, retorted "how about we call it Pun Asia?" because I have the reputation of being obsessed with puns. I don't know how serious he was, but we all had a good laugh, and then went wait, for real? And so Hong Kong Pun Asia was on.

I was predictably ecstatic about having an official venue to showcase my puns. I didn't know so much about organizing a tournament. How much water do we need? Where do you order it? Where do you keep it?

Gio organized the tournament so he did have those answers and a lot of logistics fell into place with only bearable pain. The executive decisions were more activity oriented, such as what were the Seedings to be? Where and when should the party bus pick up? What should the prizes be?

I took charge of the Seedings, player pack (left) and dinner. The Seedings seemed easy, because a lot of the top teams had played each other or previously in last years tournament. It seemed logical to rank the top 4, and even with unknowns in Korea, Philippines and half of the B pool, I didn't slave too much on the rankings. Afterwards however there was tons of second guessing.

For the player pack, well I tried to get as many puns into the tournament as possible. I split the teams into 4 pools and called them Infinity, Reflecting, Gene and Car pools. I had also been making graphical ultimate puns every week, from Darth Vader imploring the viewer to "Hold the Force" to Gio receiving a "backhanded compliment), so those were all recompiled in the pack. 

Dinner was really stressful actually. Tournament dinners are common and very fun in China and I was hoping to replicate the experience with a large, HK-style, affordable restaurant with lots of beer within walking distance of the fields. There aren't many restaurants around Prince Edward like that - space is a premium and I was expecting 80-100 hungry players. I took a tour and talked to owners and found them surprisingly receptive to booking out the place, and eventually agreed to a $10,000 tab at the Macau restaurant we eat at a lot. The owner spent a lot of time selling me on the menu, while I had a harder time being convinced we could fit so many people in the crowded restaurant. I spent a lot of time discussing extra seats. When I rolled in Saturday night a bit late, I had 10 people with me. I felt super embarrassed and stressed at the money I'd have to cover. We ultimately did get to 40+ thanks to some desperate calls, and it was a really fun and delicious meal (those yian-yeungs are amazing), but I wouldn't wish that stress on any event planner.

Prizes were hard. We wanted to think of something creative and interesting, not typical plastic trophies that would lose meaning and get thrown away. I decided to go with an engraved pan, cause that's both pretty and hilarious, for the winners. Other prizes included HK adapter plugs for spirit winners (I'd like to give a plug to a good cause), shoelaces (for the runners up), panda (punda) luggage tags (if you thought you were getting something nice, you were bamboozled). The champions were upset though because they didn't get their own individual prize or medal.

The most stressful part was just being the person people go to all the time, for issues that you have planned for, for issues that you should have planned for and didn't, or for issues that weren't your responsibility to begin with. I was constantly being asked questions and for once, I couldn't point them away to anyone else.

I made an inter-mission impossible at the party

I learned a lot about event planning, dealing with logistics, managing other people, managing complaints and stress and really made a lot of mistakes. The most important lesson learned though: at the end of the day, if you give frisbee players a bunch of fields, a disc and other people to play against, they're going to be happy.

Wuhan Open
I haven't played many China tournaments this year and so I took the opportunity when presented to play with a new group of players mostly based in Shenzhen. This assembly of Pride of Dongguan, as Colin our captain lovingly named the team, consisted of 3 other players from Hong Kong, 3 from Zhuhai, and some pickups from central and northern China in addition to the SZ core. Most of us were to take sleeper trains up Friday night, and then the relatively young high speed rail on the return trip Sunday night. Due to the dropping out of Shenzhen player Sean Keith, I inherited his already purchased tickets. I had never taken a sleeper train before, or many trains in China at all. This one was to depart Shenzhen Luohu station, on the border with Hong Kong, at 5:30pm. I worked longer that week for the opportunity to leave at 4:00pm Friday afternoon, no easy task considering the hangover from Pun Asia, and got to the border at 4:50, happily WeChatting all the way up.  Plenty of time considering you don't really need to show up early for a train, and I was glad I wasn't going through the stress that would unavoidably come if I had chosen to fly from Shenzhen airport. But the border was a borderline nursery, with so many little Chinese children running every which way. It literally took me a few minutes between seeing the foreigners line and getting in it. The foreigner lines were long and infuriatingly slow, and it was 5:15 by the time I got stamped and was free to run amok in China. Now I didn't really know where the train station was, all I had to go on was a photo sent into WeChat of the meeting point, which included a picture of a hotel. I find it on the skyline and run up a level to it. I get to it and don't see anyone there - while I'm matching up the picture to my actual view, I realize I'm not that near a train station and oh crap the train is leaving momentarily. I can still make roaming calls so I run and call Colin, to no avail. I call him 3 times without getting through. Panicked I run into what I think is the train station and through security, but it turns out that there is a separate train waiting room for a direct line to Guangzhou. I think to call another teammate and luckily Alison picks up. 

"Where are you!??!! Where is Colin?! I can't find the station!!!!!" I scream panickedly.
"Hi I'm in the line to pickup my ticket. I'm on a later train. You've missed your train," Alison freakishly calmly.
"WHAT?! No! shit balls crap aiya." 
"It's ok, just get on my train, come to the long distance train ticket booth."
"OK!"

So much for no train stress. I enter the long distance train ticket area in a complete sweat and find Alison in line. A minute later, Colin comes running in, swearing and sweating as well, making very clear that he had missed the train as well in an effort to wait for me. He had started running with 5 minutes left and actually found the gate shut on him while the train was still on the platform. Apparently you do have to show up early for a train. We wait in line together to buy tickets for the 6:15 train, and suddenly it's 5:55 and we are still in line. Our SZ-born teammate Esther helps us beg to cut a few spots in line, and soon it's just one guy ahead of us and I see him buy a ticket to 武汉 Wuhan. I jump in the second he walks out and ask for 2 tickets to Wuhan. After the service lady asks us several questions concerning what type of tickets we want (ANY) she says oh, it's sold out. WHAT? I just saw the guy buy a ticket to Wuhan! Apparently that was the last one.

So there Colin and I were, watching our teammates walk away leaving years of handling experience behind. I started thinking about options - trains to other cities like Changsha, planes, driving, giving up... looking out at the throngs of people around us and the Friday evening traffic, the airport seemed impossibly far away. Colin took the role of a captain and decided on taking a train to Guangzhou "and playing things from there," handed me a beer, and told me "we're going on an excellent adventure." Trains to Guangzhou were very frequent, so Cal and and Colin's Excellent Adventure got rolling and before even getting to GZ, included meeting a small Indian man from Kolkata who spoke Mandarin well but with a brutal accent and offered Colin a job, and a super cute girl who asked me for a tissue and then got off at Dongguan, which fairly or unfairly made her slightly less cute. The whole time, we were communicating via WeChat to teammates who were researching and offering to buy us tickets. I was almost further stressed by their efforts and the number of options available from multiple Guangzhou train stations. We got off the train expecting to hustle and make a difficult trip across town to catch the next train. Fortunately, Guangzhou really is a much bigger hub than Shenzhen and even at the station we landed at, there was a slow sleeper train to Wuhan leaving in 40 minutes. We got those tickets and some Burger King and before we knew it we were sharing fries and beer and checking out our fleas-infested top bunk beds on a Chinese sleeper train.

Now the train was an experience I had need to see for a long time. Besides the high speed rail option which was unavailable at the time, there were 4 types of tickets for the slow speed trains (from most comfortable to the worst): soft sleeper, hard sleeper, seats and standing. Soft sleepers are rooms with two double bunk beds, amounting more or less to a college dorm room in America. Hard sleepers are rooms with two triple bunk beds and enough space in between to stick out one elbow, amounting more or less to a college dorm room in China. Seats are your conventional train seats, which you might think seems preferable now to spending a night with 5 Chinese strangers in 3 cubic meters of volume, until you realize that the people actually do buy standing room tickets, and you might be sitting next to 5 Chinese strangers standing within 3 cubic meters of you. I cannot believe people do choose to stand for 12+ hour train rides, and I'm sure some buy them for 48+ hour plus rides. I read stories of these sorts of travels/travails during Chinese New Year, when the train system is overwhelmed like Brazil was overwhelmed by Germany, and it utterly terrifies me.

Colin and I were in separate full rooms, both with the top bunk. We hung out in the corridor until lights went off at 10pm and tried to get as much sleep as possible. If you're wondering how to get to the top of a triple bunk in the pitch dark, I'll tell you it's not for the unacrobatic. There isn't even a full ladder going up to the top, you kinda have to pull yourself up to some of the steps. Anyway, we were going to make it to the tournament, and if you're counting at home, this is #2 craziest getting to a tournament story, ahead of multiple Kindness Hotels in Kaohsiung, China Air driver in Osaka, but behind stranger Italian Moroccan driver in Lecco/Bergamo.

Our train was to get in around 8:30 and we woke up naturally shortly after 7. Colin's bunk room was friendly and chatty, and we learned they were on their way back to their hometown of Harbin, after a tour group trip of Hong Kong/Macau. Keep in mind this is a sleeper train, and Harbin is further north than North Korea. The elderly tourists we encountered and their 30-something daughter would be on that train for 72 hours. Their tickets only costed around 900 RMB, which I realized certainly puts long distance travel in the range of many Chinese citizens, provided they are tough enough to sleep in a triple bunk for 3 days. I realized that talking with them that much of my knowledge of China derives from conversations like these. It was interesting to hear their perspectives of Hong Kong and Macau. The tourists seemed to unanimously like Macau better, because Hong Kong was too dense and hectic. They were taken around by their tour group the whole time and seemed to have no freedom of their own and next to no interactions with locals (which is exactly why I hate tours). When I asked them what about the skyline in Hong Kong, they replied that Macau had cool tall buildings too. I was floored by this statement. Macau's tall buildings are fake casino structures with neon lights that scream "facetious" to me somehow marvels visitors from Heilongjiang to the same extent as the world class fabled Hong Kong skyline. I never could have predicted the way they saw these cities, but now that I think about it, if you don't have any real interaction with your environment, a place like Macau which is geared towards entertaining tourists will seem much more attractive than a bustling metropolis like Hong Kong where busy people could give a **** about tourists.  

Perhaps my understanding of China should come from books, tv shows, articles and historical 古文 texts but for me I am really shaped by these sorts of experiences. As I slept on that dirty top bunk in that cramped room and sped through Southern China, and realizing that Chinese college students might spend 4 years enduring what I find difficult to endure for 13 hours, I learned something about China. I realized that growing up in this environment, I would think often about how there are too many people and not enough space. I would dream about going into distant pastures and spreading out. With such a mindset, perhaps it's not surprising that China so firmly holds onto Tibet and Xinjiang. Perhaps my understanding of China from anecdotal firsthand experiences does have some ultimate relevance to national-level policies and global security.

 This picture does not capture the disparity of this field

We made it into Wuhan on time and were ready to sprint out of the train. Even on a Saturday morning, the cab stand at the train station was gross, and Colin accurately presumed that the fields were within walking distance. We hustled over in 15 minutes and discovered literally the worst fields I have ever played on. I have played close to 10 years of ultimate on three continents on artificial rugs, near an airport, near a sewage line, and in shin high grass in Anacostia, but these were just the worst. The grass was brown and patchier than an iTunes update, with a huge streak across the field where irrigation pipes had clearly just been laid. The ground was so hard that some of my teammates seriously considered not wearing cleats. The far field was even worse, with a rare green patch full of tall grasses that covered one of the cones, and the sideline just inches away from paved path. Given the pathetic field and the fact that it was public and not rented, we actually compla got some money back from the tournament organizers. 

The frisbee portion of the tournament was really a wash. The game we arrived late for was the most competitive game of Saturday, and we were down 0-3 when I stepped on. Against a Changsha team that had several former Tianjin stars, we still had the more well rounded team and should have won when they turned the disc near their end zone on universe point. Considering we lost that game and our elimination matchup with Big Brother on universe point and blew out weak opponents in every other game, the on field experience in Wuhan Open was not good. But the experience on a whole was way worth it as I bonded with many China players with whom I normally don't get to connect, plus the adventure making the tournament. Even the journey home was an adventure. On Sunday afternoon, we left the finals early to make sure we made our high speed trains back home, because I was not going to miss another one. We gave ourselves an hour and a half. After walking around the campus for 20 minutes and having only discovered dead ends, I started to sweat and panic. Roldy took charge at this point and started asking directions and dropped his bag with a teammate and started running for the main street. When we get to the main street, we're still having rough luck hailing a cab. Suddenly, a van stops in front of us. Doors open and people file out. One, two, four, eight, ten and now we are all engrossed watching this magical clown car van just file out more people. We see the now empty van has had its trunk modified to fit two benches up against the walls of the vehicle, perpendicular to the other seats. Roldy goes to the driver and asks if he can take all of us to the train station for 100 kuai. And voila, that's how I found myself cracking open a beer on a bench in the back of a modified, possibly illegally so, Chinese van with 9 teammates feeling like we were crossing the border.

It doesn't even end there. Remember, Colin had bought tickets for me. Actually he had bought tickets for his teammate Sean Keith, who subsequently dropped out. China train tickets are bought with ID and are name-designated, but according to Colin security never checks. Wuhan station security though is intense, possibly in the wake of the Kunming train stabbings of this past year, and they are most definitely checking tickets. I examine my ticket and learn that Sean Keith is actually Sean Zohar Keith. I take a deep breath, put on a poker face and put the ticket deep in my passport. A security woman then takes my passport, pulls out my ticket and then turns to the ID page of my passport. She clearly puts my passport photo up close to me and cross checks my name with the ticket name. I'm standing there, in too much shock to open up my bladder, and the thought pops up that I might just miss this train. I start formulating arguments in my head. "Oh yeah that's my other name. Oh I must have mixed up the tickets. Oh what does the name matter anyway?" Then inexplicably, the woman hands my passport and ticket back to me and shoos me through. I never look back. Perhaps she's illiterate in English?



So there it is, 3 tournaments in 3 jurisdictions of the Sino world in 4 weekends. When people ask me what the difference is between China and Hong Kong, I can simplify it so.
Question: How often do I have travel adventures in Hong Kong? Answer: Never.
Question: How often do I have travel adventures in Mainland China? Answer: Every damn time.