2017 in Recap

I wrote a recap post in 2016, and while I feel no pressure to maintain any sort of annual tradition, the final days of 2017 find me in a contemplative state. Had I started writing this post in the beginning of December, it likely would have an entirely different tone. That post would certainly contain heavy doses of data science, supply chain, and politics. It might have espoused the breadth of America in my first full stateside year since 2010 and one where I visited 19 states + the district. As a travel blogger I'd find it fun to recount scrambling up the fiery red rocks of Utah's Arches National Park, viewing a solar eclipse in a private hilltop in the middle of Tennessee, waking up at 5am in the Newark train station, or having high expectations surpassed by the lovely town of Asheville, NC.

Instead, on December 5th, while on a work assignment trying to improve our aircraft engine manufacturing supply chain, I received a tap on my shoulder and was ushered into a video conference room. There I learned that my audit analytics team would be restructured into a centralized group and that I would be laid off. With GE going into full crisis mode, I had plenty of company. Suddenly I was hit with a flurry of emotions and realizations. I was not angry. My job with GE, though far from perfect was easily the best job I had ever had, and I had not been thinking of leaving. I had been so focused on trying to excel there that I hadn't given much thought to external options. In addition, in my struggle to find a regular rhythm in the US that satisfied me, I had focused most of my energies into work. Now I was suddenly faced with a clean slate and a mixture of emptiness and possibilities beckoned back.

I've been lucky in life in many ways, including finding careers I could be passionate about, twice. My first passion in sustainability proved to be more challenging than rewarding, but my switch towards data science ultimately rewarded me very well. I've found my skills to be in dizzying demand across all industries. They say timing is the most important thing in life and being a data scientist in Boston in 2017 is definitely good timing.

With the bare necessities of food and shelter able to be met, I nonetheless find myself incapable of enjoying this comfort. Inevitably, I gravitate towards trying to address higher questions of purpose. I believe this is a such a common angst of our generation, that any novel that professes to capture this zeitgeist must address this angst. Our generation is more educated about the world than any before it, with videos live streamed from conflict areas in Syria and Myanmar. At the same time, we are for obvious reasons part of the largest population the world has ever had, making each individual relatively less significant. The end result is that the population most aware of large problems is the one least equipped to affect them. (Rising tuition costs and stagnant wages are also contributing forces). In so many of my peers, I see the desire to help other people, the desire to be part of something larger than ourselves, to have a higher sense of purpose and place. With technology finding a way to bubble up stories of great deeds and causes to our surfaces, it is easier than ever to be inspired - or reminded of our inadequacies. The lives of many people I know revolve around making daily ends meet while occasionally re-calibrating to make sure they are on the path to fulfilling their long-term noble goals.

Repping Chewbacca and Ties Tuesday

Purpose can be a very deceptive motivational force. I had a firsthand lesson in this fallacy over the summer. Motivated by a small research task I was given at work, I ended up writing a 10 page memo on the future of GE and scheduling a meeting with my Senior Vice President and 6 executives to discuss. The weeks leading up to these were some of my most purposeful of the year, where I reached out to interview numerous contacts internally and externally and read as many industry papers on automation and AI as I possibly could. Running from meeting to meeting and editing the memo boosted me with adrenaline, because I really thought what I was doing might matter and influence some real change. At last though, timing was not my friend this time, and multiple crises came up the day of the meeting. My hour long meeting was reduced to 20 minutes and nothing got done. The lesson learned here is that purpose is not enough. If your ultimate goal is exacting positive change, the motivation to do so may not be the most correlating factor. It is easy to delude yourself into thinking your work is significant.

Half of the most international team I've been part of

At the same time I'm very aware that there are plenty of perfectly happy people that exist without any delusions of grandeur or goodwill. They know their jobs have, crudely speaking, no higher purpose, but are perfectly content to collect the paycheck and go home and be happy. I have no ill will, and likely some envy, towards people in this category. It is possible that those who have not given enough thought fleshing out their goals will hit a proverbial mid-life crisis, but I think there are plenty of people who will live through the ups and downs of life blissfully unencumbered by unachievable dreams. For better or worse, I am not able to join this group of people. It is possible that I was born this way, or raised this way, or influenced this way. My years in Asia definitely contributed  - I have seen too much poverty in Myanmar and too much pollution in China to sit quietly day after day at my first world office. I cannot go from an international workplace where conversations revolve around sharing cultural upbringings to any sort of regionally-limited commerce where conversations revolve around the Patriots and Massachusetts towns.

Thus in 2018 I know not be distracted by a false sense of purpose, but to hold true to my beliefs and core essentials.  This balance between pragmatism and idealism is a generational struggle which I believe many of my friends share. It is a struggle that does not get resolved quickly. Our problems are too large to be solved by willpower alone. Years of hard work and luck may not even be enough. In personal and practical terms, my pragmatic side believes I still need technical skills and business experience and my next job should help provide this. In idealistic terms, I know I need to keep exploring new countries because in my experience, travel inspires the best ideas. So stay tuned, 2018 promises to be very exciting. Happy New Years everyone!