Saturday, December 29, 2018

Calpirinhas

Boston to Rio de Janeiro had taken over 20 hours, including a stressfully short transfer window in Sao Paulo. I had already needed to use my meager Portuguese to navigate the surprise of exiting Santos Dumont airport directly into a mall populated by non-travelers. I hugged my luggage through the subway until emerging at Nossa Senhora da Paz in Ipanema. My hotel was located just two blocks from that beach made famous worldwide by a 1960s Bossa Nova song. I barely unpacked and reclined before forcing myself to the beach, which instantly melted away my travel anxiety. The urban blocks opened up into limitless sand impossibly fast, and a caipirinha stand immediately invited me. "Uma caipirinha por favor" came out of my lips before I could stop myself. "Onde vocestasentado?" I stared stupidly, and was about to admit I didn't speak Portuguese, when I made contextual sense of the word onde (where) and randomly pointed to a spot. The bartender, if this makeshift stand that was essentially a refrigerator on wheels could have a bartender, nodded, and I went and laid down on that spot. Minutes later, a pretty woman came over with a caipirinha. As I sipped the sugary rum, marveling at the beautiful mountains on my right, the tall buildings off on my left and the expansive beach everywhere else, I wondered why everyone didn't live here.

Antonio and I had been paired together on the Corporate Audit Staff at GE. We had only spent all of 3 weeks in physical proximity, in Cincinnati, but they were an intense 3 weeks and we had gotten close. They were cutoff when I was suddenly laid off.  I had planned to visit him in Brazil in the intervening period of unemployment, but timing did not work out (I went to Colombia instead). When a wedding invitation came in the mail, it was a no-brainer for me to make the trip.

Ever since I made a point of studying Italian before visiting Italy in 2014, I try to learn languages in advance of trips. For this trip, I was able to put in 2 months of semidecent Duolingo practice before going. Unlike in Colombia, where I drastically improved in Spanish over the course of the trip, here I was never placed in do-or-die Portuguese situation, and my Portuguese improved only marginally. Upon landing I was able to ask for directions and the price of items, and that was basically the bare minimum to get by.

In Rio, I couldn't help but be reminded of Hong Kong. It's geologically remarkable for land to rise from the coast to a point high enough yet near enough the city to provide wonderful views. To have both mountains and beaches within subway access -  I'm only aware of those two and Cape Town.  Furthermore, the two cities are both harbors at 22° latitude, at different hemispheres of course, and as a result have similar climates, with palm trees adorning the major boulevards. Both cities had been extremely important colonial possessions, but had since evolved very distinctive local styles and customs. The open air cosmopolitan bars of Ipanema intermingled with cheap food stalls selling coxinha (dough covered chicken) reminded me of Wan Chai.

While the mountains of Hong Kong are fantastic, the beaches are fairly meh. They aren't all that close to the city and get crowded quickly, with some less than pristine public facilities. But in Rio, Ipanema and Copacabana beach are right there, and they are so wide that they weren't crowded on a hot Sunday summer afternoon. If you wanted to get away from that, there were more options further down the coast. I bought some Havaianas, those famous Brazilian sandals, and dipped my feet into the South Atlantic for the first time in my life. I think it was like the third wave that overwhelmed me and suddenly I only had one Havaiana. I stood firm, knowing that the wave would bring the sandal back. But for ten futile minutes, I futilely scanned my neck of the beach. Walking back to my spot, a young man walked up to me. "Amigo, podevocesascorato?" he said, pointing to somewhere behind him. I stared dumbly, until I saw my sandal at that spot. "Obrigado!! Muito obrigado!!!" I replied, amazed. "De nada."

Of the mountain views in Rio, there are many. I visited three notable ones - Pão de Açucar, Vista Chinesa, and Cristo Redentor. Pão de Açucar, bread of sugar, or Sugarloaf Mountain, is this thumb of a rock that arises suddenly from a peninsula situated between Copacabana beach and the downtown sector. Two systems of cable cars had been built to take tourists from the ground to an intermediate thumb and then the Sugarloaf. My view at sunset was spectacular. It was all there - clouds rolling into the mountains in the distance, lush jungled mountains, wide white beaches on both sides, dozens of marina boats dotting the reflective bay. No wonder that the entire bay is a UNESCO World Heritage Site.

The next day I wanted to hike the Vista Chinesa. This dot on Google Maps aroused my curiosity (it means Chinese View), and research told me it was a great view with a pagoda. I had no idea how to hike to it though, and hotel staff warned me that the surrounding area wasn't exactly safe. So I told a taxi driver just to drive to it. It happened that as he approached, there was a road closure and he said this was as far as he could go. I saw a dirt road leading up into the mountains and jumped at the fortune to get to hike it after all.

The hike couldn't have been more than a mile, but it went through real jungle. It had rained a few days before, and parts of the sloping trail were slippery mud, and I nearly didn't make it up. Finally I clawed my way to a paved road, and as I peeped out from the jungle, I saw dozens of faces staring back at me. I awkwardly looked around in confusion, until I heard cheering and then a skateboarder zoom by me. Evidently there was some sort of downhill race going down that road, which was why my taxi couldn't enter. Looking both directions, I crept uphill towards the audience and pagoda, clinging to the side. I reached the pagoda, and stared out at a beautiful view that included both the Cristo and Pão de Açucar, as well as miles of lush jungle. The extent of the jungle within city limits was truly astonishing.

I admired the view at the pagoda for only a few minutes before a bilingual announcement came on that there would be a 15 minute break in the race. "Quick!" shouted a girl in the pagoda. "This is our chance!" Alarmed, I wondered how long they had been trapped there. I immediately followed suit. Suddenly I found myself hiking into the jungle with 2 multilingual Brits, where we found a small waterfall and calm pools. Locals were picnicking in the water, and one man with a bottle of rum offered me a cup - "Cuba libre?" I don't have many travel rules, but when a Brazilian man offers you a Cuba libre by a waterfall deep within Rio, you say yes.

Tuesday, December 25, 2018

My Crazy Quick Asia Trip

I still consider my company CiBO a startup, though it is big enough that most people don't have any relationship with the CEO. At the time of this event, we were about 130 employees. So when the CEO David walked into the meeting and asked me to step out, my first thought was, "this can't be good." But his request completely surprised me: "Do you speak Mandarin or Cantonese?" I could have given the long answer, but I'd learned to be concise with executives. "Both," I replied.

"Can you talk about CiBO in Mandarin?" David continued.

"Uh, yes...but I'd really need to prepare."
"Can you talk about CiBO in Mandarin in a meeting in Malaysia in about a week?"
"Uh...maybe....sure."
"Ok. I'll let you know at the end of the week if it'll happen. I'd really appreciate it."

With that he was gone. I returned to my meeting confused but excited, my mind fluttering with possibilities.

Turns out end of the week meant Sunday. Sunday afternoon I happened to be on my work laptop and saw an email with the subject: "KL on 8/2 at 1200 local." The body of the text began, "Ready to give this a shot?"

Saying yes to scary situations, often against better instincts, has been surprisingly rewarding over my life, and become one of my guiding principles.  This Malaysia trip with my CEO seemed exactly like the sort of scary but rewarding experience that I should say yes to.

So I cancelled all my plans and next thing I knew, I was selecting business class flights leaving on Monday. The next day. I had so many misgivings!  For starters, though I'm not shy about speaking, I have long been very insecure about my Mandarin skills. It is my third language which I began learning at age 19.   I'd barely formally studied and never worked in the language, having only lived 6 months in mainland China, so I really wasn't sure I could do this. Secondly, I had no more context about the meeting than I'd just described. I didn't know who we'd be meeting, what we wanted to talk about, what we wanted to gain from the meeting, and why it needed to be in Mandarin in freaking Malaysia. The official language of Malaysia is Malay (not related to Chinese), and English is the language of international business. But I took a deep breath and trusted that David wasn't being hilariously ignorant.

I immediately headed over to my parents. I pulled up a random investor deck and stumbled through it in Mandarin while my dad looked on. It was rough.

I had never been more anxious to get to work on a Monday morning, desperately wanting to get to the bottom of this Malaysian mystery. Unfortunately, almost no one knew what was going on. David's leadership style kept everyone on a need-to-know basis, and it seemed no one in Cambridge needed to know about this China meeting. The only other person going to Malaysia was on a boat off Rhode Island. But with all hands on deck, we put together a reasonably presentable set of slides in the morning - in English. In the afternoon, I gathered the 2 Mainland Chinese coworkers (whose passports prevented them from going to Malaysia themselves) and translated the deck.  The process dramatically expanded my knowledge of Chinese agriculture and software terms. Over and over again I practiced, until phrases such as "Simulating Agricultural Ecosystems - 农业生态模型" became pronounceable, then branded in memory.

Though this trip would circumnavigate the globe, because of weekend commitments, I'd only be in Malaysia for 36 hours. I grabbed my passport and just one small bag, and headed to my parents, where I practiced for another hour. They then drove me to the airport for my 1:50am flight to Hong Kong. I've flown to Asia many times of course, and jet lag inevitably crushes me. This time however, I had business class tickets - and discovered how the other side lives. I was able to pregame the flight with champagne from the British Airways lounge, and the flight attendant offered me another glass when I priority boarded. I reclined my seat down to a bed, and slept a solid 8 hours. Upon waking, I made a point to practice with some Chinese movies, but somehow chose two awfully dubbed Hong Kong movies.

The familiar HSBC posters and temperature checks of Hong Kong International Airport greeted me, yet unknowingly tormented me. How cruel to be in this city I love but unable to enjoy it? Sure I had a 4 hour layover, enough time to take the airport express to Central and grab breakfast. But, after a longing stare at the customs checkpoint, and fidgeting with my HKID card, I decided that this was a business trip and I should focus on business.
Cathay Lounge in HKIA

I reached Kuala Lumpur around 1pm, about 24 hours after I'd set off. My CEO happily greeted me at the hotel lobby. The scene was still surreal and mysterious as we sat down for lunch, and amazingly even then the mystery was not resolved. CiBO had been connected to this Chinese fund through a confusing web of well-placed people, facilitated by our "external consultant", a Norwegian with a suspiciously unremarkable name (I'll call him Jan). It seems Jan's entire job was to open doors. While he seemed like a nice and intelligent man, I couldn't help but imagine him as a less sketchy Paul Manafort. I'm not saying Cibo was doing anything nefarious, but I wouldn't be surprised if I found out Jan was banned from entering Thailand.

We were considering the Chinese company as either a potential investor or a client. While there was partnership to be had here in Malaysia, the work in China was the real objective. That evening we would have a 5pm meeting with the director of the Malaysian branch of this Chinese fund, and afterwards I planned to pass out.

The Malaysian director was not Malaysian Chinese as I had guessed, but a Malaysian Indian man named Rohit. Rohit explained the fund's origins and their investments in infrastructure that fit into the strategic One Belt One Road initiative, such as a port and rail link across Malaysia and Thailand allowing goods to bypass Singapore. They had also some substantial investments in a range of agriculture, and thus there was some generic thought that we could partner.  We wrapped up the meeting with plenty of optimism, and I yawned in anticipation for my jet-lagged sleep.

"We're going to dinner with the Princess. Cal would you care to join us?"
"Sorry what? Princess?"
"Yes, we are having dinner with the Princess of Kelantan. You should come."

Never before had I dined with a Princess before. Jet lag be damned.

So it turns out Malaysia has a monarchy. While mostly a figurehead position, the monarch does exert some influence over the Prime Minister and the democratically elected lawmakers. I was told that the King of Malaysia probably had more real power than the British Queen, but less than the Thai King. Unusual about Malaysia's monarchy is its rotating nature. Malaysia contains nine Sultanates, and every 5 years one of the Sultans is elected King. So one day you're the Sultan of Johor Bahru, the next you're the King of Malaysia. The current King of Malaysia is the Sultan of Kelantan, a state in the north of Malaysia bordering Thailand, with a poor and largely agriculture economy. In the comically non-royal venue of an Italian restaurant in a downtown mall, the King's cousin or niece (I can't remember the exact relation) was seated, accompanied by a male Malay friend.

The Princess was casually dressed in plain western garb. We made introductions (the word "Princess" was omitted), shook hands, and somehow I was placed next to her. The whole encounter was surreal in its normalcy. As wine was ordered and conversation began, my good fortune dawned on me. Though David and Jan had been working on getting business in Malaysia for months, I had actually been to Malaysia more times and to more places, this being my 5th trip. Armed with Facebook updates from friends like Julia Chan, I mustered up fairly insightful questions about the recent election, the local tech industry, and Malay naming traditions. In an extremely geeky company, I was definitely the best data scientist at schmoozing with a Malaysian Princess. To top it off, I discovered that her young daughter shared the exact same birthday as my niece. They even looked remarkably similar. I noticed David smiling at our connection, and again counted my blessings.

The Princess opened up about what her life was like. She seemed like a fairly normal, smart woman whose birthright didn't provide outrageous luxury, but did prevent her from living a completely normal life. She was not as lost as her spoiled younger brother, but didn't have a real career of her own either. She was much more of a conflicted millennial than a Disney protagonist. On our way back, I was so desperate to get to bed that I nearly got hit by a car exiting the taxi.

The next morning I woke up at a surprisingly normal hour and admired the high rise view over central Kuala Lumpur. We didn't need to meet up until 11, so I was able to get out of the hotel and partake in some of my favorite Malaysian staples - white coffee at an Old Town Coffee, smell the char kway teoh at an open air Chinese restaurant, stroll past street stalls with coconuts and cans of Milo.

That afternoon was the only part of the trip that felt like work. David and I sat together in the lobby for hours, picking at the Chinese slide deck my coworkers and I had prepared. It was a hell of a learning experience, seeing him tailor a pitch about technology, agriculture and international growth. Several times I had to add Chinese content, and I found myself sounding out scientific phrases in Mandarin, trying to find the right word order - a skill I'd never used professionally. Trying to get the right tone, we had discussions about Chinese culture and appropriate business practices. As an extroverted data scientist in Boston, I've often bemoaned how my international experience has added nothing tangible to my professional life. That moment, at a fancy Hilton lounge in Kuala Lumpur translating data science terms into Chinese with the CEO, was the manifestation of everything I had wanted. David and I scripted out the entire conversation, starting from "Hello, how was your flight in? How about the weather here?" At one slide, he wanted me to translate "We use plants as sensors." Barely understanding this concept in English, and I told him I couldn't translate this, and managed to convince him towards a different approach.

The meeting wasn't until 7pm. I was a nervous wreck, drinking coffee and rehearsing the slides from a business lounge on the 28th floor with a distractingly gorgeous view. I went over vocab - 计算机软件 (computational software), 肥料利用 (fertilizer application), 实时监控 (real-time monitoring) - and amazingly it had begun to click. While I can't really think in Mandarin, I can think in Cantonese, and the similar word order dramatically improved my speaking.

Finally it was 7pm, and Jan and David and I sat in a conference room in nervous silence, with iPads and slides prepared.  The minutes rolled by and the Chairman didn't show up. At 7:05 David chose that moment to go to the bathroom, probably nervous himself. And of course the Chairman arrived when he was outside the room. "Ni hao, ni hao" we greeted each other as the Chairman and an entourage that included Rohit and 2 Chinese men rolled in. The Chairman rushed in briskly, going through the motions of handshakes before grabbing his seat. He looked like he'd been through a full day of meetings and just wanted to get this over. He snatched the iPad and tried to swipe up and down on our beautiful presentation. It wasn't working, and even as I tried to intervene, "you need to swipe right to left", he gave up frustrated and handed the iPad to his lackey, and grabbed the black and white slides I had printed out as a backup. I protested, "please used the iPad", but he was already on slide #3. At that point David walked in, and I tried to grab the Chairman's attention - "CEO! Let me introduce you to our CEO!" The Chairman barely made eye contact. I looked to David and shrugged. He shrugged back and we got into our well-rehearsed script.

"Hello this is David, our CEO, Jan, our external consultant. I'm Cal, a data scientist and today, a translator. Did you fly into Kuala Lumpur today? How are you finding the weather?" Dead silence. The Chairman was on slide #5. My heart raced ahead as the makings of a disaster unfolded.

We moved ahead to the contents and I implored the Chairman, please turn back to slide #2. Finally he started giving me some attention. Around slide #4 he was listening to me more than he was reading the paper, and at slide #6 he realized that we were not an ordinary company. I hit my stride and could tell that he actually understood me. I breezed through the Brazil project that I had worked on, struggled through the word 策略, and closed it up with a slide saying 谢谢. The Chairman gave an appreciative nod, and then went into a long remark complimenting us on our interesting approach and inquiring about the crux of how we built our model. Though he went on for over a minute, I smiled because I understood exactly what he was saying. "He wants to know how we get our data," I translated.

As a data scientist, I was prepared to say to give an exact and literal answer, but I deferred to David. As a Japanese major in college, he was not a literal person. "We use plants as sensors," he replied. I sighed deeply and protested, but David put his hand up and said, "wait, give this a chance." I panicked as I was at a translation loss, but the Malaysian man next to me asked, "What do you mean?" David proceeded with his elaborate and essentially philosophical understanding of plant modeling. The Malaysian Chinese then went into translation mode and I breathed a deep sigh of relief. Like many Malaysian Chinese, his multilingualism was exceptional, and allowed him to take over. His translation took over 2 minutes - I was amazed he was even able to remember all David had said - and amazingly, it worked. With an assenting nod that restored my esteem for the liberal arts, the Chairman bought into that explanation. With the Malaysian Chinese in charge, our conversation continued swimmingly. At one point the Malaysian Chinese asked me if I knew the English translation for "农药", and when I meekly suggested, "farm medicine?" we looked up and learned it meant "pesticide." The Chairman finished his round of questioning then impressed upon his agricultural experience, bragging about how he'd created the finest apples in all of Shaanxi. He concluded with the bold declaration that, were we able to raise $50 million, he would match us by raising $50 million, to be focused exclusively on China. I knew instantly that while this oral statement was by no means a guarantee, it meant that this meeting had been a success. Our message had been positively received, and there would be followups.

Down in the lobby, David toasted me on a job well done and laughed about how disastrous the meeting had begun. It felt so satisfying to step up to a challenge and meet it, and gain so much insight into our international business in the meantime. Three hours later I was on a British Airways flight to London, and I was back in Boston by Friday afternoon, in time for a road trip to Maine.

***

Two weeks later, David was removed from CEO. All the goodwill I had built up with David and the beginnings of a deal with the Chairman instantly evaporated. #startuplife

Sunday, August 19, 2018

Crazy Rich Asians

When I first heard that they were making this movie with Asian people called Crazy Rich Asians, I was not excited. I don't care about the stories of rich people and I really didn't think long about what it would mean to see this all Asian movie. After all, I've seen plenty of films from China and Hong Kong. But as the buildup to the movie spawned more dialogue, I realized I loved its concept - whether I loved the movie itself would depend on its execution.

I loved the movie. It is shocking to me how much this New York - Singapore rom com story resonated with me, how many different scenes directly and viscerally engaged my memories. I walked out shaking my head, wondering if they'd made the movie for me, a Chinese American who has experienced both "normal" Asian American life, stepped into rich circles in Asia, and roomed with a Singaporean. At times I identified with Constance Wu's character, at time with Henry Golding's, at times with various other members of the all Asian cast. I've never experienced anything like that before, seeing people who looked like myself on the movie and wondering if I could've auditioned. I realize now that I had been conditioned to accept that movies were not made for me, that Hollywood was serving what they were serving and I would have to learn to enjoy it. Seeing this, and realizing that other people have been experiencing this their whole lives, I'm honestly jealous.

And naturally, I have a LOT of thoughts and I'm going to spit them out in bullet form, because I got too much going on to organize. If you haven't seen the movie yet, there will be lots of spoilers, go see the movie:
  • Awkwafina killed it. It's a bit weird that she is cast as a wealthy Singaporean who went to college in the US, but really she is playing herself, a not wealthy girl from Queens. There has been some criticism that she's appropriating from black culture, but she is just playing herself. You can't entirely control the way your environment affects you, and how she speaks is genuinely how she speaks. She makes no effort to act like a Singaporean, but is absolutely hilarious and steals the show. I really want to hang out with her now.
  • The opening scene in Singapore, at the Newton Hawker Food Centre, was amazing. It reminded me of the meal I had when I visited my former roommate Francis after he'd moved back. I think they could've lingered longer and named all the roti canai, the chili crab, the laksa, the char kway teow etc. but this movie wasn't about explaining Asian culture. Director Jon Chu has a great quote about this, that explains how his vision is almost the opposite of Wes Anderson's (which I heavily criticize):  “We didn’t want to give people an excuse to think of this world as some kind of obscure, exotic fantasyland — this is a real place, with real culture, history and tradition, and instead of just giving them answers to their questions, we want them to have conversations.”
  • When I was 23 I went from living on a mattress in a shared attic of a house in DC to starting a career in Hong Kong, being welcomed by aunts and uncles, a few of whom are quite rich (not crazy rich). I found myself often at fancy dinners in country clubs and members-only restaurants, and for me it was definitely a surreal experience trying to look presentable and not say anything uncouth. Rachel's experience takes this to another level.
  • The whole movie I kept thinking what is the actual national and ethnic background of this actor/actress, and who are they portraying. Brits and Aussies play Americans all the time, but the cultural and linguistic abilities at stake make this trickier in Crazy Rich Asians
  • Michelle Yeoh is cast perfectly. She is Malaysian Chinese from Ipoh and speaks great Cantonese, and does so throughout the film, which is believable for her character (who reminded me of many of my aunts). She doesn't speak with a Singlish accent, but her English accent is believable for someone of her wealth who studied in the UK and would want to present as higher class.
  • Henry Golding is an interesting casting decision, and my thoughts on this are, no pun intended, mixed. With a white British father and an Iban Malay mother, his portrayal of the Singaporean Chinese lead was criticized from the beginning. There is something to be said for making a statement that Asian men can be sexy leads and to authentically portray the part. But as a mixed-race Asian myself who has resented being considered "not Asian enough," I will defend Golding's Asian chops. He spent the first 7 years of his life in East Malaysia, and the last 7 in Singapore, speaks Malay (which he shows briefly in the hawker stall scene), and seems culturally quite Asian. I totally bought his portrayal as a rich Singaporean heir (in his first ever acting role!). He has a couple Mandarin speaking lines in it, and while his first one is kinda scary, he does a respectable job on the longer ones. However, his mixed visual appearance was impossible to overlook, and was completely not addressed in the movie. His mother is shown to be Michelle Yeoh, and his father is in my opinion very deliberately not shown, in hopes that this would ignore the topic. There are plenty of wealthy Eurasian families in Singapore, and it would not have been difficult to write this into the movie adaptation (the book's Nick Young is not supposed to be mixed).Crazy Rich Asians (2018), Henry Golding, Constance Wu
  • Constance Wu excellently plays an American-born Chinese, which she is. Now... I'm not in the business of shaming second-generation immigrants on not speaking their "mother tongue," and my own Mandarin accent has been called "freakily jarring," .... but I had no idea her Chinese was so bad. Her lines with the paternal grandmother were distractingly painful, and considering her character in Fresh Off the Boat, I had just assumed she spoke fluent Mandarin. Like her Mandarin is bad for an American-born Taiwanese. For her role in this movie, it's fine, but I think Constance Wu could benefit greatly from a tutor.
  • Also the grandmother speaking Mandarin is not believable. The matriarch of a family like that in Singapore would probably speak English, Hokkien and not Mandarin. It's an odd juxtaposition to Michelle Yeoh, who famously phonetically learned her Mandarin lines in Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon.
  • Ronnie Chieng, born across the causeway in Malaysia's Johor Bohru and graduated high school in Singapore, is believable in his role but totally overacts.
  • There are a lot of non-Chinese Asian actors/actresses playing Chinese roles, including Ken Jeong, Nico Santos and Sonoya Mizuno. This can sometimes feel whitewashing-ish. We Asians complain that white people can't tell us apart, but then we cast roles like we can't tell each other apart? In my opinion, this is not a problem right now. White people play characters from European countries they are not from all the time, and there is so much variation in how people look that all these roles visually pass. I'm focused on how good it is that this movie can create so many roles for Asian actors/actresses.
  • There are lots of great Singapore scenes. The shots of the Merlion, the party at the Gardens by the Bay, the hawker stall, the Helix Bridge, the shophouses - visually I think they make Singapore look really cool. There are several images shot out of focus or very quickly that brilliantly portrays how overwhelming the experience can be for an American landing in Singapore for the first time. The last scene on top of Marina Bay Sands overlooking the infinity pool reminds me of a crazy night I had freeloading on some rich business school student's bottle service in the club where that scene is shot.
  • However, Crazy Rich Asians does not do Singaporean culture justice. There are very few Singaporean actors/actresses in the film, and one of them, Tan Kheng Hua, plays a non-Singaporean role. There is very little Singlish in the film, and while there is plenty of discussion of Chinese culture, almost none of it is Singapore-specific. It's super clear the film is targeted for the Asian diaspora in the Western world, particularly in America. I am curious as to how this film will be received in Singapore. 
  • In addition, there is basically no portrayal of Malay or Indian Singaporeans. While the film can't be everything for everyone, and the Chinese dominant friend group is believable, it would have also been believable and not too difficult to have written in a Malay or Indian Singaporean character into the wedding parties. And it would have made a big difference in how this film depicts Singaporean society.
  • One last note for the Singaporeans, I'm surprised there wasn't at least a cameo of a recognizable Singaporean like JJ Lin or Joseph Schooling in the wedding.
  • There is also very little service towards mainland China. I figured that since China's market is so big, the film would try to kowtow towards mainlanders, possibly by casting a major star from there, but I'm glad to see they stuck to making the movie they wanted.
  • I dated someone in college who is from India, and while I knew she was wealthy, I was shocked to visit her in India and discover that her family is so well known in property development that their last name is immediately recognized throughout India. So I immediately identified with Rachel.
  • I've also dated an Asian-American in Hong Kong from a working immigrant background, and brought her to fancy dinners with my family, so I also identified with Nick.
  • The most intriguing part of the movie is stated by Eleanor, Michelle Yeoh's character, about how Asian culture demands putting the family first, and how Americans put themselves first. The scorn she shows towards Rachel pursuing her passion isn't just relatable, it's the reason I drink. I wish the movie could've spent more time on that.
  • Even though I know the rules, I totally did not understand the Mahjong scene, which has a shit ton of nuance and subtle imagery
  • Besides the opening scene with a racist British concierge, there are almost no white speaking roles. In fact, there is one scene on a boat where white women are in the backdrop, used as eye candy. To someone like me, this invokes an anti-version of a common Hollywood trope of placing pretty Asian women in the backdrop (Social Network, Ex-Machina). Experience had taught me that even in Asian-centric films, there is always at least one white person, written in so that the movie can appeal more easily to a white American base. It makes me think of a line from Rush Hour 2, where in the midst of investigating a Chinese gang, Chris Tucker says, "Behind every big crime, there's a rich white man waiting for his cut." This movie eschews that entirely, and it's refreshing!
  • I was pleasantly surprised to see/hear Kina Grannis as the wedding singer. She's a half-Caucasian half-Japanese singer from California whose career I've loosely followed for years.
  • On a related note, the soundtrack is amazing. I've been listening to the Chinese version of "Yellow" on repeat. There's a lot of fascinating backstory to its inclusion, an adaptation that the band Coldplay was initially dead set against, afraid the title Yellow would come across negatively. When I first listened to the song, I expected it to be a direct translation of the Coldplay song, and so I was disappointed that I was unable to match any of the lyrics. The word "yellow" - 黄, is barely sang in the song. I've since looked up the lyrics and realize it's nearly a complete rewrite - it's a beautiful adaptation written in 2015 by a mainland artist Cheng Jun 郑钧 that's only loosely connected with the English lyrics.
  • I was also told to expect Cantopop, but when Sally Yeh (in her 3rd language!) came on with a Cantonese version of a Madonna song, I was still shocked to hear Cantopop in an English language movie. Again this is due to a conditioning that Cantopop is this tiny, niche medium that should be restricted to certain settings. It's still crazy to me that my white friends who watched this film have now heard Cantopop.
  • As a romantic comedy, the story isn't original. There are plenty of tropes, and the main characters are quite underdeveloped. We are never really shown whether Nick and Rachel are actually a good couple. The fact that I hate rom coms and found this movie so enjoyable is a testament to how well they handled everything else.
  • I wish there was some sort of body symbol coming out of the film, like the Wakandan salute that came out of Black Panther. I want to have something like that.
  • I had no idea who Jimmy O. Yang was. I might start watching Silicon Valley just cause I liked him so much.
This was made possible because of the Asian American creative forces behind this, Jon Chu and Adele Lim. You need that sort of direction from the top to understand what representation really means – not a college brochure of different colored faces, but different people telling their own very different stories. Going forward, I hope they produce the whole trilogy, what I really want isn't more all-Asian movies. Rather, I want Americans of all backgrounds to understand each other's specific issues better and naturally incorporate them more into their stories. Long term, I want this country, this world, to be far less segregated so that no group needs to feel culturally marginalized. 

I'm excited for what's to come.

Monday, July 23, 2018

Ignorance and Knowledge

It seems after a certain point, everyone wants to stop getting older and birthdays start getting embarrassing. That point is often 30, because the 20s can contain such great, largely unrepeatable, memories. If you think about it though, aging shame is completely illogical. Everything living ages, so the alternative is to not be alive at all. The reckoning of aging is simply a universal necessity. Growing old brings positives and negatives - it’s just that the negatives are more obvious and visual, while the positives are more abstract.

I had a pretty amazing run in my 20s where I actually achieved life dreams. I turned 20 living in Beijing where I was just starting to develop my love of exploring the world and learning languages. In the following decade I travelled more than my wildest expectations, going to 30 countries, visiting wonderful places I had not heard of such as Kashgar, Ipiales, Bagan, Luang Prabang etc. I lived in Hong Kong, which had been a lifelong goal, and did so while working in an international office on the forefront of sustainable design. I never lacked for passions, especially ultimate, through which I’ve met hundreds of friends and participated in 3 world championships. Professionally, I’ve walked through construction sites, manufacturing lines and corn fields. I dated wonderful people, crashed a motorcycle, learned several human languages and several more machine languages, went to two Olympics, had an extremely lucky night in Macau, twice destroyed ligaments in my ankle, emceed an event in Cantonese, drank a boatload of bourbon in a Kentucky bar after getting laid off, saw Hamilton on Broadway, crashed a Vietnamese aviation annual dinner, won a bunch of trivia nights, had an extremely unlucky night in Macau, wrote a book of crossword puzzles, played ultimate tournaments on four continents, and made my guests answer my trivia questions at my last birthday and somehow had them enjoy it.
'08 selfie


From this vantage point, what stands out about the last ten years is not a string of highlights but how I dealt with uncertainty (poetically the focus of my course of study, statistics). Several times in my 20s I found myself mired in very uncertain situations. The choices I made to resolve them were made from both being aware of what I didn’t know and staying true to what I did know. The domain of my ignorance has always dwarfed the domain of my knowledge, and to the extent that my choices worked out, I owe a lot to good luck. After all when I turned 20 I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. I had only taken three college math classes, couldn’t hold a conversation in Mandarin, was afraid of computer programming and couldn’t define sustainability. If you had asked me what I wanted to be doing ten years later, I doubt I’d be able to supply a serious answer. I was just starting to learn how to live, and definitely did not have my shit together.

The second semester of Junior Year is when the ambitious & cocky students line up summer internships that turn into post-graduation jobs, largely in management consulting and finance. (Georgetown at the time didn’t stress technical skills or applying to tech companies) Because I didn’t have my shit together, I didn’t know what those jobs were or how to apply to them. But my Aunt’s department at HSBC in New York happened to find a compliance risk that required hundreds of hours of white collar labor, and I lucked into a summer internship there. We were a group of 7 interns all trying to outwork each other, commuting through midtown in jacket and ties, desperately trying to not look bored at work. The internship was well structured until they ran out of work and it wasn’t. I didn’t learn that much about finance, but I learned enough to know that it wasn’t drawing me. At that point, I couldn’t articulate why.

That fall, back in college, I paid more attention to when the firms came for on campus recruiting, and read enough to distinguish between Goldman Sachs and JP Morgan. When Goldman came, I remember the entire room in Leavey flooded with ambition, anybody with over a 3.0 who thought highly of themselves. I had over a 3.0 so I thought being in that room was a rite of passage. But other than that, I couldn’t tell you why I was in that room, and neither could anyone else. We just vaguely knew that this was a step in the right direction that might open further doors down the line - we never asked which doors we really wanted to open.

Fortunately I got nowhere with those banks, and went to graduate school instead. Again I need to reiterate that I had no idea what I was doing, and was mainly getting my Master’s because my peers approved. It was way, way better than telling people at graduation that I hadn’t figured out what I wanted to do yet. To be fair to myself, I knew that undergraduate math classes had expanded my thinking and shown me the importance of mathematics in advancing society. I wouldn’t know for several years, but I really lucked out. Given how theoretical undergrad math was, had I not gone to graduate school, I probably would not have done any serious modeling professionally. I didn’t know that this R language I learned first semester could be so important, or that I’d be asked an interview questions straight out of my stochastic simulation class.

I say fortunately I didn’t get into finance because it never set me into a mindset of complacency. Had I landed a job with a well-known bank, I would have felt justifiably rewarded by “doing the right things in life”, i.e. getting good grades, dressing well, saying the right things in interviews and working hard. I don’t know how I would have come to terms with my insecurity of only ever thriving within a structured systems. Or having my worth defined by the name of my company and school, rather than by my ability and knowledge. It wasn’t fun or easy, but the path I took gave me much more confidence.

With the investment banking boat long sailed, I found myself outside the college recruiting channels. I was in a black hole of cold online applications and reaching out to contacts of contacts, a dark world which I had no idea how to navigate. I struggled mightily in that period, but I had decided that I knew what I wanted: to work in Asia in sustainability. I still had a lot to learn about how the world worked, but much of what I had learned had come from short stints in Asia. I knew that I’d grow fast living in Asia and that sustainability would only get more important there. Ultimately that period prepared me for later bouts of unemployment. I learned to deal with the uncertainty over what I didn’t know, but to be confident in what lessons I had learned from what I did know.

'18 working with plants
I was right that living in Hong Kong would introduce me to more than I knew possible. It taught me that this world is incredibly vast and full of so many wonders that it never makes sense to stop exploring - one’s learning curve will not asymptote in a human lifetime. I was lucky to spend half of my twenties in the continent housing more than half the world, within affordable weekend trips to a dozen countries. I lived in one of the world’s most international cities where the best and worst of cross-cultural transactions were brought out. I ducked into many corners of Hong Kong, meeting many people whom I confused by my looks, my accent, my demeanor, and equally many who confused me. I met many people who didn’t have my ability to access the world - through them I learned that so often, our belief of what’s possible is constrained by our imagination and our means. Whenever I could, I did my best to remove the constraint of imagination, by sharing my story and expanding the image of what an American might be. I’ve tried to do the same thing to Americans of means, by writing my experiences in these blog posts and subtly encouraging people to travel. I have no idea if it has worked.

Later, I switched careers because I knew I enjoyed coding in R, and that there would be a lot of meaningful work in that domain. This time I started by mapping out all the possible skills I might need to learn, to quantify my ignorance. Though I was ultimately ignorant of how hard landing a job would be, when I did land it I enjoyed it. I found a profession that I love, made possible because of a lucky choice to attend graduate school, informed by a bad experience at a lucky internship. I know that I'll never know enough to feel certain about my future, but I can know enough to love my present. Overall I enter 30 feeling really lucky. 

Monday, July 9, 2018

Appropriate Appropriation

It was nighttime in Bangkok as I walked down a busy street alone, probably Sukhumvit, the large boulevard running through the center of the city. Most of the details elude me, but I do recall an old woman sitting on the street. She might have been behind a rug of belts she was selling, she might have been begging, or she might just have been sitting talking with some friends. I just remember she was talking loudly in Thai, and I thought everything about her was seemed an inscrutable mystery to me. Our lives could not be more different.

But as I stared at her longer, the old Bangkok lady began resembling the woman who raised me, whom I affectionately call Auntie. Auntie is in her 70s, born in Macau during World War II. At the time, I was living in Hong Kong and often passed by old woman on the streets late at night, many of them pushing carts of garbage for income. I couldn't help but feel pity, thinking that in a different life this woman could be my Auntie. This forced me to stop and talk, and occasionally I helped push their carts.  One time I found myself pushing a cart, from the Sheung Wan MTR all the way past Western Street, listening to an old woman's life for 20+ minutes. She had no family and had lived alone in a small Sai Ying Pun flat for the past 40 years and had used to work in a garment factory. Our lives were super different, but not inscrutably so, and we were able to connect.

Back in Sukhumvit, these thoughts were all rushing through my (likely not sober) head. This nameless Thai woman wasn't really some unfathomable enigma - we just didn't have a common language. In a different life, I could easily be listening to her tell me about all the changes Bangkok has seen in the last 50 years. In a different life, I could be her. The language barrier is this impassable barrier, until it isn't. I started wondering, "Do white people see the cart pushers of Hong Kong the way I had been seeing this Thai woman? Do they see all Asians with whom they can't talk to like that?" Without the anchor of a close figure like my Auntie, are they unable to establish that real empathetic connection?

My experience is mostly yes. A lot of people around this globe don't get it. They are not truly "culturally woke." It is one thing to read about different customs around the world, to learn about the issues facing different groups, but it is another to embrace your existence as simply one of many in the world. Too many people spend their days imparting their truth upon others, without realizing it is just a relative truth. Whether someone actually grasps this concept is at the heart of a lot of major cultural battles I see today. Essentially, it's why I dislike Wes Anderson, am ambivalent towards Keziah Daum (the Utah cheongsam prom dress wearer) and love Anthony Bourdain.

Wes Anderson's latest movie is the stop-motion animated film Isle of Dogs. I am not super familiar with Anderson's body of work, but I generally accept that he is a fantastic film director. And Isle of Dogs is a magnificent piece of work, which makes his use of Japan all the more disappointing. The film is set in a semi-dystopian future in Japan, but it becomes pretty apparent that this is not Japan, but Wes Anderson's understanding of Japan. As Allison Willmore of Buzzfeed summarized, Anderson throws a:
hodgepodge of references that an American like Anderson might cough up if pressed to free associate about Japan — taiko drummers, anime, Hokusai, sumo, kabuki, haiku, cherry blossoms, and a mushroom cloud (!)... This all has more to do with the (no doubt intricately designed and decorated) insides of Anderson's brain than it does any actual place. It’s Japan purely as an aesthetic — and another piece of art that treats the East not as a living, breathing half of the planet but as a mirror for the Western imagination. 
I quote Willmore because I had literally written a "hodgepodge of free association" before finding this article and decided not to reinvent the wheel. Anyway, it is super clear that to Wes Anderson, Japan is this fascinating alien kingdom, and not a nation state home to 120 million people. I mean the main character is named "Atari" and the city "Megasaki." He wasn't even trying. His choice to have the dogs cast by well known American actors and actresses and speak in English while the human characters speak in unsubtitled Japanese is somewhat clever, but it pits Japanese people as the other and assumes that the audience is not supposed to understand Japanese. Greta Gerwig's American exchange student/white savior is the back-breaking straw. It is clearly the work of a white American man like Wes Anderson who has never seen Japan without a white American in the frame. He is only capable of imagining the story of an American in Japan, not the epic dramas that have occurred and still occur in Japan without any foreign involvement. Anderson's priors in The Darjeeling Limited and The Grand Budapest Hotel do not grant him the benefit of the doubt.

Anderson gets specific call-out because he should know better. He's this highly successful filmmaker who has clearly traveled the world and associated with a cosmopolitan crew. He lives in Paris and dates Lebanese writer Juman Malouf.  Yet his worldliness seems only to have armed him with a larger arsenal of imagery, not perspectives. A good chunk of my life has been spent hanging out with white Americans abroad, and very few of them display the sort of cultural closed-mindedness of Wes Anderson. But of course, his films are so good. Is the cultural appropriate egregious enough to wage a boycott? No, I saw it, enjoy it, then bitched about the aspects I didn't like in a blog post.

Using a country as a backdrop because it looks cool is one thing. What about wearing a dress from another country because it looks cool? The considerably lower stakes should be taken into account, but is the underlying issue the same? To a certain extent, I think yes. If you're not familiar with the specifics of the cheongsam prom dress case, take 5 and Google it. In essence though, it features a white high school senior from Utah who saw a Cheongsam (or Qipiao) in a store, thought it looked cool, and wore it to her prom and took a large photo with her friends all doing the Thai Wai. It's certainly not a look that shows deep cultural understanding. For some Asian Americans who grew up having their food and clothes mocked and now see white Americans "discover" them, it was a deeply infuriating fashion choice.

For some more context, the Asian American community have gotten pretty woke on cultural appropriation over the years. I remember the "Pho is the new ramen" incident inciting a fury, and ever since then many Asian Americans have become quick spotters of cultural idiocy. Chopsticks in hair, kimonos, even Chinese tattoos - these all provoke a visceral reaction in me when in a visibly non-Asian context.

You know how many old white guys won't eat street food in Yangon?
However, in the case of the Utah high schooler, I think it's important to relieve the viscera. Should that senior know better? Certainly not! I'd be stunned if a 17 year old white girl from Utah was aware of these Asian American grievances. Her clothing was not meant in bad taste, and now she knows better.

Lastly, we have the late Anthony Bourdain. I never closely followed Bourdain's show or career, and never really talked about him with other people. Given that, I was a little surprised that when he sadly passed away, so many people were moved. His loss was particularly felt among hyphenated Americans. As someone who loves to travel and eat street food, I admit when I learned about Bourdain and his traveling cooking show, I had my guard raised. Most travel shows either cater towards the rich and luxury-seeking, or exaggerate the exoticness of a location. But I quickly saw that Bourdain was a genuine and humble guy who wanted to share the food of the world with a wider audience. He never acted like he "discovered" a dish, he spoke out for minority chefs and against cuisine stereotypes in America, and sat down at the same cheap and dirty restaurants that regular people (cough me) enjoy in Myanmar, Vietnam and Hong Kong. He seems like he'd never describe a dish exotic, because he knew that what was exotic to him was normal to someone else. He will be missed.

The ability to empathize with people of different backgrounds may the most important soft skill in a global society. And though it may come easily to those of us who grew up straddling cultures, it can be very difficult for other people to gain. People like Anthony Bourdain stand out because they are so rare. People like Wes Anderson are the ones who seem to run the world. It's important for people of color to empathize and understand the degree of difficulty in connecting with an old woman on the other side of the planet. And it's important for everyone to go out and talk to as many different people as possible to stretch each other's empathetic ranges, so that people like Keziah Daum grow up more woke and lead the world in a better direction.

Monday, February 26, 2018

Living abroad on steroids

10:45am February 13, 2018 (GMT +9) - Winter Olympics Day 3
Everyone in the Seating section was standing on their feet. The wind gusted down from the mountain  and barrelled its way through my insufficient layering, but I was momentarily immune to the cold. The little figure sliding down the mountain was Chloe Kim on her first run, and I didn't know much about snowboard tricks, but even I could tell Chloe was crushing it. It wasn't even close. She soared so much higher and twisting so much more that the most amateurish skier could pick the winner. As she approached her last jump, the American next to me yelled, "JUST LAND IT!" She did, and the crowd immediately erupted. I went crazy cheering for an American born in 2000 whom I had barely heard of one week ago. In fact, one week ago I was sitting in my apartment on the other side of the world wondering if I should go to the Winter Olympics.
Ladies' Halfpipe Finals

As I outlined in a previous post, I am in a state offhandedly termed "funemployment." Fun wasn't the aptest word to describe this period, with job interviews dictating nearly every move I made. But my former Hong Kong coworker Eriko Tamura was getting married in Beppu, Japan, and my sudden lack of commitments made attendance a real possibility. I desperately tried to sort out my interviews before the wedding, and delayed finalizing the details of the trip, but eventually I couldn't let these companies determine my life. So I decided to go to Japan - then what? I had always wanted to go skiing in Japan, and as luck would have it, I learned that my friends in Tokyo were going skiing the following weekend. I immediately committed to that trip. That left me about 4 days to kill between the wedding and the skiing, which I figured I'd use to explore Japan. Upon discussing these plans with my friend Henry, he asked, "Why don't you go to the Olympics?"

I didn't even know when the Winter Olympics were starting - they weren't remotely on my radar. But my free days lined up almost serendipitously well with the core of the games, and I started seriously considering it.

Information about the Games was scarce. The official website isn't great, at least not in English. These Games are spread throughout the province and mountains and it wasn't immediately clear where one should stay. There weren't many tickets on sale and the ones that were on sale were expensive. Information about transit was particularly terrible - I had figured I could fly into some regional airport, and it took a lot of digging around before I realized that I would have to fly into Seoul and take a train towards Pyeongchang. I heard that this train was getting full fast, especially during the Lunar New Year which fell in the middle of the Games. This article by the WSJ proclaimed doom:

"The whole thing is a nightmare to me,” said Lee Meng Fei, a 39-year-old engineer from Johor Bahru, Malaysia, who said last week that he was still struggling to find out how he can get back to his hotel in Gangneung, 37 miles from Pyeongchang, after the opening ceremony on Feb. 9. Mr. Meng Fei said he found it ridiculous how little information there was on Pyeongchang’s websites about how to get around the region, particularly compared to his last Olympics experience in Beijing in 2008."

https://www.wsj.com/articles/getting-to-the-winter-games-is-an-olympic-headache-1517659203  

I read that and immediately thought: "Challenge accepted."

Having also been to the Beijing Olympics in 2008 proved hugely useful. As I will get into, the Olympics are an enormous production. It is hard to understand the experience on the ground until you're there. I knew that tickets became much more accessible as the Games went on, and fellow spectators can be a wealth of information. So as I sat there in Cambridge looking at a $90 flight ticket between two cities 7,000 miles away from me, I took a leap of faith that it would all work out. I decided I would stay in Gangneung, the only real city in these Games and the site of the event I most I wanted to see, short-track speed skating. It wasn't easy but eventually I found an Airbnb for a guesthouse that seemed near the train station for $47/night. From a contact in Korea, I found a website to book reservations on the Korail trains, and reserved a one-way ticket from Incheon to Gangneung. I had no event tickets, no return train ticket, no friends going with me, and kept my expectations minimal.

On Monday, February 12, I landed in Incheon, exhausted and hungover from an incredible wedding the day before, and got to work in one of the world's premier airports. I wolfed down a bulgogi sandwich, bought a 5 day data plan, found my way to my KTX reservation. The high speed train line directly from Incheon to Pyeongchang and Gangneung was apparently in the works regardless but finished just in time for these Olympics. It was an impressive engineering feat spanning over 150 miles through mountainous terrain clear across the Korean peninsula. You could take a bus, but the train is basically the only desirable option to reach the Olympics from Seoul (and thus the rest of the world), and so demand was super high.

So I was surprised when I boarded an empty train car at Incheon, but the car reached full capacity at Seoul station, and rumbled into Gangneung station with several hundred Olympic goers in the early afternoon. Immediately I felt this buzz in the station that dissolved my hangover. It is the sort of excitement made possible by the joyful gathering of people from all around the globe, like an airport but exciting.

The global ambience did contradict with the small Korea town setting. The town was clearly not used to foreigners, and awful English directions turned an 8 minute walk to my Airbnb into a 40 minute scavenger hunt. I eventually arrived and got to work figuring out tickets and transportation. Amazingly tickets for nearly every event were available on the official website, and now that I was grounded in Gangneung, the numerous options seemed less overwhelming. I bought a ticket for a curling event 3 hours later, and for the snowboard halfpipe the next morning. I didn’t give them much thought, I just knew I needed to see events.

Volunteers at the station and fellow English-speaking spectators were a wealth of useful information. I learned that tickets were constantly getting released, that I might get lucky with scalpers or cheaper resale tickets but the official avenues was really the best way to go. I learned that most countries had their houses which they setup at every Olympics and the Holland House was where the parties were at. A spectator who worked at the London Games informed me that a local organizing committee does the vast majority of the work which is why every Olympics feels quite different. This one had had its struggles - the bus schedule had proved disastrous in the Opening Ceremonies - but it was constantly monitoring and improving, sending extra buses going to underserved routes. The Olympic Games are an epic challenge in supply chain demand planning and a Winter Games spanning this many miles is particularly challenging. The people I talked to felt they were doing a decent job. These people were so helpful and informative in all the ways the website was not. “All you need to do is talk to someone who has been at the Olympics one day before you. Then the next day, you are that someone.” It was true – in one day I was an expert in navigating the venues and paid it forward to the newer arriving spectators.

The Olympic Park in Gangneung has 5 different arenas: one for curling, one for figure skating/short track speed skating, one for speed skating, one for hockey, plus an unused soccer stadium. The 15 minute walk from the shuttle to the furthest arena is chock full of distractions.  The Samsung house with VR displays, flashing light shows, ice sculptures of polar bears and dancing mascots crowd out your senses. After walking through all the exhibits, all the ticketing procedures and security extravaganza, I turned the corner and found the curling ice right in front of me. This is what I love about watching sports – once you cut through all the corporate infrastructure, it's just your eyes and humans doing something fun. Live sports are raw and unscripted, entertaining without the effort of a theatrical performance.

The mixed doubles curling match featured a Swiss team and two people who happened to speak Russian. I loved how the Olympic Committee had agreed to let the cheating Russians participate, but to do so under the mundane banner of “Olympic Athletes from Russsia.” The result allowed the games not to be tainted by the exclusion of gifted athletes, but utterly demeaned the country’s Olympic federation. This may or may not have brought me glee in this geopolitical climate.

Female curler from Russia looked like evil Natalie Portman, while male curler from Russia looked like emo Bradley Cooper. Some Americans sat next to me, and through shared knowledge and Wikipedia, we mostly figured out the rules. It was not always easy to understand the participants strategy, but when you do, you can better appreciate great shots. Shots where the stone goes 50 yards curling through two rocks and knocking one rock into another rock far, but not too far. I won’t pretend curling is the most amazing spectator sport, but it was cool to watch and supplied drama, with an OAR gamble on the last throw backfiring and handing the victory to the Swiss.
Emo Bradley Cooper complains to Evil Natalie Portman in Russian
*****
8:30am the next morning I took the KTX back towards Seoul, but for just one station in Jinbu. A 25 minute shuttle took us way out into the mountains to Phoenix Snow Park. Along the way, I glimpsed closed ski shops bearing banners, “OLYMPICS KILL US.” I hadn't thought about it, but of course the controlled entertainment that is the Olympics will disrupt parts of a local economy. It was hard to ruminate on this though as the bus approached the slopes and that buzz returned.

I hadn't really known what to expect, having never seen a snowboarding event live before. Seats are all at the bottom of the slopes - no side view or anything - so I was pretty far from the action, but with a good high clear view. The snowboardcross course finished adjacent to the halfpipe, and occasionally someone would go down it, presumably on a training run.

There were 12 women in the finals, all getting 3 runs, with only the best score counting. It's one of those sports where you have balance a routine difficult enough to get points but doable enough that you don't fall. Two Americans, Arielle Gold and Maddie Mastro open up with some impressive jumps but fall halfway down, to a crowd-crushing "ohhhhh." Both Japanese boarders dropped flawless runs and Chinese snowboarder Liu Jiayu took the lead with an 85.50. And then the last boarder was due and the crowd went wild with anticipation.

I had done next to no research for these Olympics, but I had heard of Chloe Kim, the great American hope. And then she slid down the mountain and brought this euphoric pandemonium to the air. It's that satisfying feeling when you expect a show but know that one isn't guaranteed. She took the lead with a 93.75 and I was thrilled that the hype had been real. Even from the distance we could see she was riding with joy and having the time of her life, exuding this youthful charisma that has made her into one of the stars of this game.

This event had live commentators, an American providing elaborate English commentary and a Korean providing more succinct Korean reports. Somehow they never talked over each other, making me wonder whether there was a Jeopardy style buzzer that turned on their microphones. The American kept dropping snowboarding terms which he barely explained - it took me another week to understand what "goofy-foot" rider meant. As he yelled "Method grab!" and "Switch frontside cab 720!" I tried to match what he said to the action I was seeing, but it was too fast and too far away so I settled for blissful ignorance. I strained though when the American commentator butchered the Chinese names, calling Cai Xuetong (Tsigh Shway-Toong) something like Kai Sue Tong.

In the second round we cheered for everyone to nail their landings. Every single fall hurts to watch, with the weight of broken dreams and lost entertainment crashing into the snow. Chloe fell too, although with her first round run it didn't really matter. Liu Jiayu (pronounced by the American as Lee-ew Jee-ah-yu) from China improved her score to 89, but it was clearly not enough to take gold. When Liu fell on her 3rd run, Chloe clinched the gold, making her last run was entirely ceremonial. Nonetheless the crowd all stood again and she went down and crushed it, landing back-to-back 1080s and earning a 98.25. This was what the Olympics are about. When you pull back all the corporate branding, the heavy security and general chaos, you find this pure athletic excellence. You have the world's best athletes doing their best to push their sport and having fun along the ride.

*****
The Olympics are not made for spectators. Their priorities are 1a) the TV experience and 1b) the athlete experience with the spectator experience coming in a distant third. Obviously the money  from a global TV audience dwarfs the in-person ticket sales. Additionally the IOC does realize that the athletes are their most valuable asset, and they should be given all opportunities to perform at their peak and set world records. It is after all the foremost performance stage for nearly every sport involved (exception: hockey). Still TV will take precedence, hence the10am start time, so that east coasters could watch it at 8pm.

The men's qualification round began an hour after the women's medal ceremony. This was a very awkward and frigid hour. The venue did not allow reentry, so we were locked into an area consisting of three food kiosks, a store and a "spectator room" which was a heated space that could fit a bit over 150 people. With somewhere over 5,000 people and winds barrelling down from the mountain, that spectator room became a fire hazard. The food lines stretched over 2 hours (a full chicken leg was the top selling item) and I simply wandered around the venue just trying not to freeze. This was one of those points where I got very angry at the Olympics and their lack of consideration for spectators.

Finally the men started and I returned to my seat in the upper deck. Next to me sat an attractive blond lady from Finland, who was here watching her boyfriend, Markus Malin. Markus was a 3 time Olympian who trained in Switzerland, Utah and Austria. Looking over the other 28 competitors, I was shocked to see Shaun White's name pop up. I remember first seeing him in the Olympics while doing English homework.

And here he was being incredible. He could land 1440s and took the lead after his first run with a 93.25. I couldn't believe he was still this good - I figured after he'd finished 4th in Sochi, these Games were not going to be competitive for him. Even more surprising, he was only 31 - he'd literally been an Olympian for half his life. Meanwhile, Markus had a strong start but couldn't land his 4th trick. The qualification round was only 2 runs and for 17 out of the 29 participants, this would be their whole Olympics. As spectators the runs begin to blend together, but for the athletes these 30 seconds of snowboarding acrobatics were the culmination of 4 years of training. When Markus came up for round 2, I was nervous for him. His girlfriend, in typical Silent Finnish fashion, did not show any sort of anxiety. He went through his run cleanly but wasn't exceptional, and his 63.50 was not enough to advance. I looked to his girlfriend to see if she'd be devastated, but she was smiling. She was proud of him, and she said now they could just relax and enjoy the Olympics.

Japanese snowboarder Ayumu Hirano improved on a first round 87 with a 95.25, knocking the Flying Tomato out of first place. By this point I was freezing and really wanted to head back to town, but these are the Olympics. I resolved to see one more Shaun White round. Since the scores get erased for the finals, Shaun didn't really need to best this score. But these are the Olympics and he went out there going for broke, did his signature "Tomahawk" roll (don't ask me what that is) and ended up winning the qualification with a 98.50, to a thunderous applause that rivaled Chloe's. I then immediately bolted for the shuttle bus and away from the freezing winds.

I got back to Gangneung station exhausted and hungry, having only eaten a chicken leg all day. I had 5 hours to kill before the skating, so I figured I'd head downtown where I heard there was a cool market. I had barely gone two blocks before I saw a little place called "Coffee Hotdog" with a table of foreigners watching TV. It caught my eye enough for me to walk in. Faced with all Hangul, I asked, "Is there an English menu?" While the barista tried to explain the coffee options, a female voice from the foreign table floated out, "Cal?" I faced someone I didn't recognize and had never been more confused in my life. "It's Jasmine," she explained. I tried to place the name face and voice, all while in the process of ordering coffee in Korean, and my incredulity only increased when I realized this was Jasmine Tillu, whom I had met literally once in 2013 in Beijing. Somehow she had recognized my voice in this small coffee hotdog shop in Gangneung. She was traveling with her boyfriend and his remarkably global family, with the three kids based in Beijing, Seoul and Paris. We hung out in the coffeeshop for a while catching up and remarking on the bizarreness of everything.
Jasmine, Cal, Coffee, Hotdog

They then asked if I'd like to go to a Jimjilbang, a word I'd never heard. I abandoned all plans for food and found myself in a Korean spa for the first time, sweating in salt box of a furnace. The spa consisted of many different rooms, some hot, some very hot, some very very hot, and some cold. The sensations were strange but afterwards, I did feel excellently refreshed. The Jasmine + Jimjilbang encounter reminded me why I loved expat life - unpredictability and wonderful new experiences.

*****
The Olympics unite a complete hodgepodge of fans. Usually, the vast majority of fans are local, especially when the Games are in a place that scares westerners. In fact, most of the Koreans I spoke to were either from Gangneung or Seoul.  Regional attendance, from China or Japan, was surprisingly small. It seemed that the second largest cluster consisted of the Olympic die-hards, fans who would go to the Olympics no matter where they were.  A last group would be friends and family of athletes. Many of the die-hards first discovered the Olympics accidentally, often professionally. Most people don't know how awesome but once they go, they get addicted. In some ways I fall into this category, despite having missed a few Olympics. Lots of people were on their 5th or 6th Olympics and I felt comparatively like a novice.

*****
The short track speed skating was the absolute furthest rink from the Olympic Park entrance, and I was tired and late when I arrived to a deafening roar. Unlike American sporting events, where ubiquitous TVs get you feeling the game before you reach your seat, here it was nothing, nothing, then everything. I had happened to walk into a race nearing its last laps and a Korean skater was winning. That night would feature many races featuring Koreans, each one ending with the compact rink roaring like it was the bottom of the 9th at Fenway.

Short track speed skating is the nitroglycerin of sports, with the slightest slip or touch of another skater potentially detonating one's medal chances. Skaters who fell on their own are essentially out, and post-race video review was conducted to check whether there had been any illegal contact, with the offender being automatically eliminated. It's an extremely volatile sport, with the most skilled skater no certainty to win. However, the gracefulness of a good pass is a marvel to watch, and the short nature of the sport means drama is just around the turn. Every 500m and 1000m race closed with 30 seconds of pure adrenaline.

Because there were so many competitive Koreans in short track, this was one of the hottest tickets in town. The Committee seemed to have pulled out the stops for this event, with the volunteers noticeably more bilingual and the commentators noticeably better at pronounciation, effortlessly introducing Kazakhstan's Nurbergen Zhumagaziyev. Even so, the arena hadn't sold out.

Attending the event live allows you to watch the action surrounding the action. What amazed me most was the number of skaters sharing the tiny ice. In addition to the athletes and a referee, four volunteers hid out in corners in pairs, tasked with replacing the track markers. The short track was defined by several rubber markers that often went flying as skaters zoomed by. One volunteer would immediately skate for the wayward marker while the other glided over and dropped down a new one, before vanishing back to their corner. I'd never want to be a volunteer, as I would certainly trip and interfere with a racer and cause an international incident. The 5000m relay race was sheer madness. Four teams of four skaters swirled around the track, usually two at a time, for a total of 21 skaters. With the speed and closeness of all the skating, I was amazed that pileups were not routine. In the most competitive race, the Korean team finished first, followed closely by a Hungarian squad led by two skaters of half-Chinese half-Hungarian descent. The US and Japanese teams finished just a bit behind and did not qualify for the final medal race. Helped by the volatility of the sport, the Hungarian team would later pull off a huge upset and win the country's first ever Winter gold.

*****
I headed out from the short track, intent on getting some sleep. I had actually scheduled two important interviews, one at 1:30am and another at 8:00am, because I am ridiculous. Walking around the Olympic Park can be pretty overwhelming, with all the lights and exhibits, so I'm walking around with my head on a swivel when I almost walk into one of the exhibits. I was at a crowded barrier with lots of white people and I turned towards the lights and I saw someone I had seen earlier that day. The short frame with long blond hair was unmistakably Chloe Kim, and the older woman chatting next to her looked like Hoda Kotb. I had nearly walked into the set of the Today Show, and immediately I was transformed into one of those screaming jumping lunatics you see in the background of those shows' broadcasts.

Chloe finished her interview and ran towards our fence, and did a lap of high fives. I froze, unsure whether to try to sneak a closeup picture or get some dab, and in my hesitation, I got neither.  Major regret. I'd never been one for celebrities but now I was peering over trying to get a peak at anyone else recognizable. I saw Al Roker, US hockey players, a skier, and did manage to snap a backside shot of Chloe as she was leaving.

I did not high five Chloe Kim
I unabashedly stargazed for a good 20 minutes, and when I did turn to leave, I saw other people I recognized - former Georgetown ultimate players Jake Anderson and Sarah McNabb. We were equally flabbergasted for 15 seconds, both asking dumbly "What are you doing here?" That second small world moment in one day was perhaps the most miraculous connection in my Georgetown ultimate career.

*****
I made my 1:30am interview. The interviewer thought I was ridiculous that I was at the Olympics. I made my 8:00am interview.  The interviewer thought I was amazing that I was at the Olypmpics. I woke up 10 times in the middle of the night terrified I'd oversleep, but I didn't.

After the 8:00am concluded, I went down to the basement for breakfast. I walked along the heated floor in shorts, without a care in the world because the most difficult part of my day was done. Several other westerners were there, eating the hostel's offering of toast and dumplings. Sam from Ottawa told us about how he had bought $20 figure skating pairs practice tickets, not realizing they were practice. Still, that turned out to be an awesome deal. He described how groups of 3 or 4 pairs had to practice on the ice simultaneously, and how the Chinese, the skaters from Russia, and the North Koreans were all grouped together. Talk about a triple axel. Talk about a nuclear-powered icebreaker.

Noel from LA was going to the figure skating. As I listened to their stories, I browsed through the Olympic app. Figure skating began at 10:00am, and B-priced tickets were still available. Despite that lack of sleep, I felt wide awake. "Yo, should I go to this?" Jeff replied, "Yes!" And so there at 9am, dressed in shorts and eating breakfast dumplings, I decided to go to an Olympic event starting in an hour. The spontaneity felt like a microcosm of the whole trip. I scurried upstairs, put on clothes, and left with Noel to catch the shuttle bus. Our hostel was fortuitously located, less than 5 minutes from the Olympic Park buses. Before I had time to think about what I had done, I was in the arena watching two Germans skate.

There's a lot to discuss with pairs figure skating, where a man and a woman take joint credit for something that is objectively way harder for the woman. I couldn't get out of my head something Bill Simmons had said that week on his podcast:

I like the pairs figure skating. I like trying to figure out 1) if they've ever had sex, and then 2) how many times before they decided to just be friends or 3) if it was never on the table.

Yeah, that was on my mind. I'll summarize that session with 1) the Germans rocked it to U2's With or Without You, 2) the Italians played the most upbeat Italian song ever and 3) the North Koreans. Oh my goodness the North Koreans.

The next section over from me was dominated by 40 odd women dressed identically in red garb and white beanies. It didn't take a super sleuth to guess what country they were supporting. They sat in quiet until the North Korean pair was introduced (along with the Chinese and Russians), at which point they all started chanting the two North Koreans names - "Ryom Tae Ok! Kim Ju Sik!" - and waving their flags in perfect unison as if they had rehearsed it, which they probably did. They all went to the bathroom as a group, as if it was a rest stop on their bus tour, and several older male handlers watched on, presumably on guard for defections.

Ryom and Kim skated to the surprisingly western song "Day in the Life" by Beatles and stole the show. They skated with classical grace and skill and ended in an authoritative pose, pointing directly at their cheerleading club. Their routine set a season best and temporarily put them in second place. Previous skates had been celebrated with fans throwing a bouquet or stuffed animal onto the ice, but after this one there was a veritable bombardment of gifts. As volunteers picked up all the flowers, I watched the North Korean pair smiling and waving to the crowd and felt an emotional moment. Here was this amazing skating pair who will have to return to their authoritarian regime, to a life without rights. I interpreted the gifts as a combination of respect, sympathy and wish for peace. Later I asked the Korean spectator sitting next to me, "What do you think of the North Koreans?" "Choson? Oh...." he paused for a full minute, collecting his thoughts. "... I don't like," he finally concluded. Fair enough, I can see why North Korea might be a divided issue in South Korea. A few pairs later, the cheerleading coalition left en masse.

*****
Having seen four Olympic events, I had one remaining goal - party. In Beijing 2008, I had hung out in Sanlitun hoping to see a celebratory Usain Bolt, to no avail. I learned that the partying typically takes place in Houses setup by individual countries. There is an elitist US House that charges $300 and requires invitation. There is a Canada House charging $25 CAD that features a poutine happy hour from 3-4pm. And then there's a Holland House, sponsored by Heineken, and that's where the party was.

I had my ticket ahead of time for Valentine's Day. A kid from Kansas named Tom then walked into my hostel room as I was emerging from my nap. I immediately dumped on Tom all the logistics knowledge I'd gained, and asked if he wanted to come to the Holland House that night, and that he could find me at the bar next door writing this blog post. All within 5 minutes of meeting him.

The bar next door was opened by a Korean from Seoul who called himself Skull just a week before the Olympics started. There was never more than 5 people there, because how would anyone hear about it, but Skull had created a great place. I was on my second Hite when Tom from Kansas walked in with Alex from Vancouver, and somehow I gained two friends to party with. Tom and Alex taught English in Busan, and were very helpful sharing their knowledge of Korea. As we walked through downtown Gangneung, I learned that despite the tall buildings, this was considered a small town for Korea. We ended up at a local hole-in-the-wall that Alex described "deep Korea." The bulgogi there was the best meal of my trip.

It could not have been more jarring going from sticking out as westerners in deep Korean to sticking out as short people at the Holland Heineken House. Suddenly everyone around us was 6'3" and blond. The House was temporarily occupying a wing of a resort hotel, staffed by volunteers who'd been given free travel and housing in exchange for being at the Olympics. The volunteer checking my ticket smiled. "We had two winners today. There will be medal ceremonies around midnight. It's going to be a great party night."

The Heineken bar served red wine and Heineken - not exactly a mixology lab. That mattered not, for it really was a great party night. The reader may or may not be aware, but I've been to some epic parties in my life. I believe the main ingredients are not music or alcohol but the attendants' willingness to go all in on the night. No one here was thinking about their 7am Zumba class; everyone was there to soak in the Olympics. The Dutch outfits ranged from orange sweaters to Team NL jackets to tulip hats to bespoke orange suits. A live band was playing in at least three languages.

The music stopped and the spotlight shone on two people in regular clothes on the stage. They did something dramatic in Dutch and I'm still not sure if they were Olympians. However, I did discern that the man bent down and proposed and that the woman said yes. Lots of action was happening without subtitles. The spotlight then flew to a corner and there was a tall woman there with a bronze medal waving her arms. The crowd went crazy as she walked to the main stage and gave a speech along with her coach. She tearfully accepted a giant bronze medal plaque, which then proceeded to surf the crowd. Streamers came down from the ceiling as hands reached out toward the plaque.  Then the spotlight returned to the original corner and the band began a victorious melody and another female skater emerged, this time with a gold medal. The scene couldn't be more surreal. How had I somehow entered this Dutch Olympic show? The event felt like an exclusive party, not a club with a 12 Euro cover.

I made my way back to a bar where I found a gorgeous blond woman sporting a red Canada sweater and a silver medal around her neck. It's not often that one's accessory choices allows for Google triangulation, but I was able to deduce that this woman was Justine Dufour-Lapointe, a freestyle skier. I went up to her and asked, "Excuse me, are you Justine?" She responded, "Yes! 'ow did you know?" with both genuine shock and an accent that gave away which part of Canada she hailed. I cheekily responded, "I'm a huge fan." We proceeded to have a real conversation where she expressed respect that I had decided to come only a week ago. At that point her boyfriend swooped over and aggressively took her away.
Spot the silver medal

The band was gone, replaced by a Dutch DJ who expertly controlled the dance floor, creating a scene so much more Ibiza than Gangneung. At 1am he closed in English, announcing there'd be "one last song, for the Canadians out there. You all know the words." And with that Bryan Adams' "Summer of 69" played, and all the Canadians rushed onto the stage. Justine was initially off to the side, but she ended up dragged into center stage. It was the first time in my life that I really, really wanted to be Canadian. I also knew all the words to the song, and for not the first time in my life, I briefly considered pretending to be Canadian.

*****
My 2018 Winter Olympics experienced lasted only three days, but I could write about it for fifty. The Olympics encapsulate the best parts of living abroad and inject them with steroids (pardon the inappropriate analogy). They foster an environment where talking to strangers is expected and asking where someone is from is basically required. Ordinary boundaries get dissolved by the universal language of sport. I will always remember the good that this event can bring. I will always associate the Olympics with saying yes and trusting in the universe.